The Fool Plan
APRIL FOOLS, BITCHES! 
There is no way, no day that I am letting some doctor carve me up so I can be beautiful. Not for myself and not for any man. Take me like I am or leave me be.
Also, the attorney is too good a guy to ever say those kinds of things to me. Or to anybody.
In fact, I got the idea for this April Fool’s joke from a conversation we had that I have been meaning to post about:
I’ve said before that the attorney is pretty chesty. I was joking with him one day that maybe I needed to get pec implants so that my chest didn’t look so wimpy next to his. Of course he said something sweet about liking me how I am. That’s what people say in those situations, especially if they are not sure whether you’re serious or not.
I told him I feel inadequate whenever we take our shirts off.
He responded, “How do you think I feel when we take our pants off?”
That little quip told me that we are cool with each other just the way we are.
No foolin’.
April 1st, 2007 at 12:23 pm
I hate working chest. It’s the hardest to hit consistantly. And I imagine implants would look really lame on anyone. And it would be worse than cheating on a test; it’s like cheating on life.
And I changed my mind. I’m going to make a chicken scampi and have a late lunch, and bag the triscuts and sardines. A handful of peanuts will hold me over.
Happy April fools.
April 1st, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Were you serious about the foreskin though? I’m new to man-man stuff, and the only guy I’ve fooled around with had one and I want one now! My parents really screwed me over…I didn’t even lose mine for religious reasons. I want it back!
Love your blog!
April 1st, 2007 at 1:30 pm
See, you were about to get an earful of personal opinion about him and about what you should do. I love your new picture by the way. Clowns are HAWT!
April 1st, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I can’t believe I fell for that. Good joke. Very good.
April 1st, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Ohmigosh, you foooooooled me!
April 1st, 2007 at 6:51 pm
I figuted it was too bad to be true. It just was not consistent with either you or the attorney as presented in your blog. But I did think for a moment that I hadn’t ‘goten’ you at all in the last three months I have been reading an enjoying you. But it was a good joke . . . just plausible enough.
April 1st, 2007 at 7:24 pm
You had me up until the whole “if things were to get serious between us down the road, I’d need to be more attractive” line… then I started going “That SOOOOO doesn’t sound like Tony!”
But I like his comeback about the whole pants thing hehehe
April 1st, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Good, you got me all worked up. LOL.
April 2nd, 2007 at 1:50 am
Fantastic joke. I was thinking he cant be serious, the lawyer cant be that shallow.
I’m keeping this idea for next year - bloody great
Cheers from Oz
April 2nd, 2007 at 5:31 am
You wicked, wicked man…
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:08 am
I must say, I knew you were kidding. No way you would change a thang on that beautiful body you got there for any man. You don’t need a nose job. You would have a hard time convincing me you did. You are so striking the way you are. A masterpiece!
BTW - clowns are evil and scary.
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:19 am
As an April baby, I’ve literally, heard them all. But the setup and inclusion of the cajoling by your new partner was a classic that I fell for hook-line and sinker. I was moving my mouse to delete your blog and web links as I read it. SUPERB!
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:32 am
I knew immediatly that this was a very clever joke, and I laughed. I guess I know you well enough to know that having plastic surgery is the very antithesis of everything you stand for. You should have issued a clown warning, though! I am scared of clowns and suddenly seeing that clown face made my poor heart jump!
April 2nd, 2007 at 10:44 am
Gurl…you gonna get it! I had some idea that this was the fully loaded cart of horseshit I was being spoon fed. Really honey? Your nose? For fux sake darling, but I will say that I’m noticing things about myself that are beginning to me hit the gym more frequently.
Hugs baby doll,
kb
April 2nd, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I was already halfway to dumping the motherfucker and having you back for myself as my fulltime secret pretend boyfriend. I was confused and sad that you didn’t tell the attorney to take a hike and oh so pleased to see that it was an April Fools prank. I was even happy for you that he was not the superficial ass I had been led to believe he was, although it does put a damper on our secret pretend relationship.
April 6th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
You have NO idea how fired up I just got. I’m glad I clicked here before I made an ass of myself.