LARGETONY Blog

You could have knocked me over with a feather from the response I got from my recent post about gas prices cramping mine and the attorney’s style.

I wrote the post mostly as a way of expressing my feelings “out loud.” Doing so generally gives me some perspective; either confirming my feelings or giving me a different outlook.

Plus, since the post didn’t mention or feature my pecker, I wasn’t expecting much in the way of comments. (My football posts never got such a response). Maybe just a little advice here or there.

But, I gotta tell you. I was really overwhelmed by the comments and e-mails from triggered by that post. Not because of the quantity. Because of the quality.

Everyone was really kind and very sweet (in their own way) and seemed to genuinely want to help the situation, either through advice, or their own experiences.

That just floored me. True, everyone is always pretty nice and respectful around here. And I know that some of you have followed the growth of my thing (not my “thingy” with the Attorney with some interest. I just had no idea that so many of you really actually care.

I have taking everything everyone had to say. I wouldn’t say (at least at this stage) I agree with everyone. But, I am taking it all into consideration and processing it in an effort to find what is the best answer for us.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I am truly grateful for the way ya’ll have my back. Actually, I should say our backs. Because I get the sense that you all want this for the attorney as much as for me.

That is refreshing because so often people, particularly gay men, can be so bitter and judgmental when someone else (even their closest friends) is building a new relationship.

But you folks are so supportive you are like cheerleaders for Team Attony.

Attony. That’s Attorney and Tony combined. Like Brangelina and TomKat. If I used his real name, it would not combine very well. It would be like trying to put together Oprah and Steadman. And Steadman hasn’t been able to do that for twenty years.

But, I’ll bet he uses Oprah’s gas card.

The 26th HNT.  It would be the mid-way point if I was to do a year’s worth of them (which I won’t because I close up shop in September.)

So this is the mid-way point of me.

I never really realized I have veins showing along my pelvis.  But, I guess all the excess blood has to get out of that area somehow.

George Bush is fucking up my relationship.

Technically it’s oil prices that’s fucking things up. But it’s not like he’s connected.

Gas around here hit $3.25 today. Last time I saw it that high was in 2005 after Katrina. It went to $3.30 then. That’s the highest I have ever seen gasoline. And now we are almost back at it.

Without a natural disaster. Just a national disaster. See above.

Anyway, an hour and a half each way to see the attorney is starting to get pricey. And what was once a couple of times a month has, over time, grown into a couple of times a week (sometimes more).

So, I told the attorney that I’m going to have to cut back on the road trips for a while.

Now I understand that it was probably like telling a child that carnival has boarded and there are no more rides on the Tony Baloney.

But that’s not what started the argument.

It didn’t start there because he had a solution: he would pay for my gas. “Mileage reimbursement” is actually the term he used.

Step right up, folks!  The midway is open!

I didn’t like the solution.

That’s what started the argument.

You always hear that money is the single greatest source of tension in a relationship. I guess it’s true. Most of the differences the attorney and I have had can be traced to money. Not because I have a moderate amount and he has a ton. But because that’s his ton and I don’t feel like he should be spending it on me.

I mean, we’re not talking picking up the check at dinner. We’re not talking putting both movie tickets on his credit card just because it’s easier. We’re talking, at the current price of gas, a few hundred dollars a month.

I couldn’t live with myself.

He also offered to split the costs since we both benefit.

Call it pride or whatever, but I have always felt that, no matter what, if I can’t do it myself, then I’m not doing it.

But, the attorney is taking it personally.

It’s not just that he has a “what’s mine is yours” attitude while I want to maintain my independence.  It’s that he sees it as a sign that I am losing interest and pulling away.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  I wish that we lived close enough that I could see him every day.  And I have told him so.  I just don’t want to be beholden to anyone.

But, I guess when you’re barking those feelings at each other, it’s harder to accept.

Like gas prices.  Getting harder to accept.

Last week for HNT, Atari_Age showed off his worked out triceps, but questioned why go through all the effort if you only see the results when you purposely flex them.

But, they can be pretty noticeable when relaxed, too. It all depends on the angle of view.

Nothing meaningful to this post. Just a slice.

The attorney and I have decided we’re going to take lessons and join a rowing club.

I don’t mean just paddling through a creek rowing. (Although doesn’t Jake look adorable doing it?) I mean gliding across a lake in a skinny little boat on a four or eight man team rowing.

I’m pretty excited about it. It’s bound to be great exercise. Your whole body gets worked out and cardio, too. Plus, I love water sports (the kind that don’t involve pee) and it seems like it will just be fun.

We got the idea a few weeks ago when we were driving around and happened upon a regatta. We got out and watched and were both fascinated by it.

It’s been a little bit of a struggle for us to find something athletic that we can do together. He’s been trying to get me to run with him for months, but, as I have said before, unless I’m running from something, I don’t much see the point.

Besides, having been a runner for so many years, he’d have a decided advantage over me and I would probably slow him down.

He did put up a basketball goal in his driveway (the portable kind because his OCD - which is worse than mine, I believe - won’t allow him to let it visually a part of the look of the house. He can’t even leave his car in the driveway. Always in the garage. Door closed.) But, I have an advantage in hoops (even though he is taller).

We’ve tried tennis. But he goes into a dark place when he plays tennis, so I really don’t stand a chance.

About the only option we have for a level playing field is wrestling. But, that would just turn into something else completely (although still working out the entire body and cardio, too). And we need to get out the house some.

So, that’s why rowing is perfect. Besides the fact that (from what I read) we are both naturally built for the sport, we are both completely new to it. And instead of competing against each other, we would be part of a team.

Together.

Which is the most important part.

Life is but a dream.

Lady Vol Alexis Hornbuckle (yes, that’s really her name) couldn’t hit a shot all night. Not for the first 39 minutes and 59.3 seconds of the game.

But in the final countdown, with 0.7 seconds left on the game clock, she tipped a missed shot back in to score her only two points when it counted the most. Because it gave Tennessee a 47-46 win over LSU when it had looked as if a Lady Tigers score 6.3 seconds earlier was going give them a one-point win.

It just goes to show you: never count the Lady Vols out.

Unfortunately for LSU, it was their fifth trip to the Final Four without advancing to the title game. This is the last time they’ll be able to count that on one hand.

It was a hard-fought defensive battle on both sides (and consequently the lowest scoring game in tournament history). That would have been exciting if it was football. But, I happen to like more offense when it comes to basketball.

Even so, I’m proud to see the Lady Vols fight to the finish and make it into the championship game for the 13th time. Let’s hope its Lucky 13, and they bring home their 8th crown. (Or do women’s sports call it it a tiara?…nah, that would be gay sports).

At least then LSU could brag that they beat the National Champions during the regular season. Just like Tennessee’s men’s team will be able to when Memphis wins the Men’s Championship.

Self -discovery can be a good thing or a bad thing.

Good, because you might learn something about yourself. Bad, because you might learn something about yourself.

I’m going through a little bit of self-discovery right now. Believe it or not, I have BrettCajun to thank for it.

Because Tennessee (my team) and LSU (his team) are facing each other in the Final Four of the NCCA Women’s Basketball Championships, he suggested we both write related posts on our blogs before and after Sunday night’s game.

I told him that I would if something struck me to write about, because I don’t like to write unless I have something to say.

That got me thinking.

Why don’t I have something to say?

Tennessee is on the verge of possibly winning a National Championship in one of the major sports. I should have plenty to say. Lord knows I would have plenty to run on about if it was football or men’s basketball.

My first thought (although in hindsight maybe I should call it a defense) was that I probably don’t have that much to say because we’ve been down this road so many times before.

If they take the crown, it will be the eighth time for the Lady Vols. Eight times in 25 years of women’s championship games. And something like 17 of those 25 years, they’ve made it to the Final Four. (The men’s team has never in the history of a much older program made it past the Sweet Sixteen.) Pat Summit has the most wins of any coach in all of college basketball and her 30+ year career has been entirely at Tennessee.

Is it just too common an occurrence to get all that excited about? If Summit and her Lady Vols didn’t make it to the Final Four once again, would I have something to say then?

Truth is, probably not. Not much, anyway.

Because, I’m just not all that interested in women’s athletics. Not even in a sport that I love.

I’ve always been upfront about that fact. But, put in the perspective of an amazing program like the Lady Vols, I came to the realization that when it comes to sports, I think I may be a little bit sexist.

I’m not defending it. I’m not saying it’s alright. I’m not saying I like that about myself. I’m just saying that realized it.

I realize, yet I can’t rationalize why I feel that way.

You could ask me if women can make great athletes. You could ask me if pat Summit is the model coach as a winner, leader, and inspiration. You could ask me if women have the guts and drive to win at all costs. You could ask me if any one of the Lady Vols could kick my ass on the hardwood. You could ask me if I am proud to say Tennessee has the premiere women’s basketball team.

The answer to all those questions, and most others like it, would be yes.

Yet, none of it excites me as much as just the possibility of the men’s team making it to the Elite Eight or the football team simply beating Florida (let alone a championship). And if the women were to lose this close to the final game, it would not hit me as hard as when the men lost last week, much further from the prize.

The thing is, this sexism does not exist in other parts of my life.

Sure, I believe there are differences in the sexes, and those differences should be embraced and celebrated. Like if, instead of high fives and locker-room towel snapping, the women’s team’s post-game celebrations involve pillow fights, singing into their hairbrushes, and somehow end up with everyone kissing, then so be it. But in the big scheme of things, men and women are equal and equally capable.

I’m not really coming to any resolution of this post. I guess because I have come to no resolution about my realization.

But I do hope the Lady Vols are all over the Tigresses tonight and send them back to the swamps (what do tigers have to do with the bayou, anyway? I thought cats hate water) with their tails between their legs.

So, that counts for something, right?