End Times
I just noticed in my sidebar that the blog is now within it’s last 60 days. Less than two months.
September seems so much farther off than two months. It’s the beginning of football season. It feels like forever.
But, from the perspective of the blog, it feels like no time at all.
Still, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s definitely time.
First off, I feel like I am coming to closure on a particular volume (more than just a chapter) of my life and opening a new one is opening. You all know my obsession with order, so it falls in nicely with closing up shop on the blog.
But what solidified it for me, really told me it’s time is was an e-mail I received recently. It was from a reader that was writing for the first time. The basis of the e-mail was to register a complaint that I “don’t provide my fans with sexual information they deserve.”
I’ve never thought this blog to be extremely sexual. Suggestive and a little perverted at times, but not much really sexual content. Maybe I’m fooling myself. But, that’s beside the point.
I didn’t have a problem with the complaint. Somebody is always going to complain about something. What got me was the way the word “fan” was used and the ownership of me that it implied.
I have a hard time thinking of myself as someone with fans in the first place. I don’t (and can’t) take myself so seriously as that. I’m just a guy with a blog.
And the blog is not just me. It’s all of us who take part. Sure, I am the primary contributor and I want people to come here, to enjoy what they read, and maybe even identify or take something from it. And i am thrilled when they do. But all of you contribute, as well, through your comments.
Therefore, if someone tells me that they are a fan of the blog, I can accept that.
But when the fandom starts shifting from the blog, directly to me…well, it’s just not what I’m interested in, and it’s time to go.
Besides, I don’t want to find myself strapped to a bed one day with sledge hammer coming at my pecker.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:50 am
I can’t believe it….I hope to meet you someday. Why don’t you come and visit?
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:10 am
Anybody who describes themselves as a “fan” just misses the whole point… and the part of the email you quoted just proves that. I worked out a while back that you take a blog for what it is, you don’t demand more (or less) or anything, because you risk damaging what you liked in the first place.
Plus there are a ton of other graphically sexual blogs out there, let him go real one of those!
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:47 am
But why?! I hear ya, but it’ll be sad to see you go
jay
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:09 am
I dont think it will be a sledge hammer going at your groin, but I digress… I hate to see you go… I think you should just cut back on posting, but keep us informed about what is going on in your life… you will be missed… but I can understand…kinda… happy 4th!
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:24 am
“It’s for the best”
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Hi Tony. Thanks for all that you’ve shared on here. I only started following you recently (thruogh a pointer from someone else’s blog), and came in during “the grandmother posts,” which I loved.
Anyway, I agree with your blogging philosophy. I use mine as a journal of my life. I’m a “documenter” by nature. Between my home page, with all the places I’ve traveled, many of the books I’ve read, the lectures, plays, operas, and concerts I’ve seen, movies I’ve seen,” and not missing a day of blogging in almost 5 years.
ANYway, when my ex-wife saw all that she said, “I have one question. Who is this for?” And the answer is “me.” Of course I love when other people read it, comment, or take something away from it. But, that’s the “gravy” part of blogging. Blogging is my creative outlet, and it’s for me.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:12 am
Dang it! Forgot a close href! (Sorry to clog you comment section with a reprint.)
Hi Tony. Thanks for all that you’ve shared on here. I only started following you recently (thruogh a pointer from someone else’s blog), and came in during “the grandmother posts,” which I loved.
Anyway, I agree with your blogging philosophy. I use mine as a journal of my life. I’m a “documenter” by nature. Between my home page, with all the places I’ve traveled, many of the books I’ve read, the lectures, plays, operas, and concerts I’ve seen, movies I’ve seen,” and not missing a day of blogging in almost 5 years.
ANYway, when my ex-wife saw all that she said, “I have one question. Who is this for?” And the answer is “me.” Of course I love when other people read it, comment, or take something away from it. But, that’s the “gravy” part of blogging. Blogging is my creative outlet, and it’s for me.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:25 am
hey Tony,
you know we’ll miss you like crazy, yet … I’ve always believed in going out at the top of your game, and that’s what you’ll be doing ….
plus, ‘fans’ will suck you dry (and not in that fun way) and still want more … they can’t and won’t be sated …
it’ll be a bittersweet day when you graduate, but the idea that you’re off into sunset with the attorney by your side, with your Granny’s understanding and blessing … what a note to close on.
who knows, maybe next time we hear from LT will be at Barnes & Noble … move over Burroughs and Sedaris, the big guy is coming to town!
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:34 am
Well, there always is that one person who has to mess up a party. I tend to ignore the weird comments and or remove them.
I agree that the blog is for everyone. Sure it allows me to put my thoughts down on paper?/ether?…
I really like it when friends or readers tell me something I said or wrote made them change the way they thought about their life or situation. I’m less than half a year away from the end of my 4th year blogging and I still haven’t decided what I want to do…..
Thanks for being out here Tony. I do hope one day to meet you and your other half!
Jim
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:02 am
Tony,
I just looked at my calendar, and now September has a new meaning. As long as you have gotten what you need out of the blog, it’s time to go, and start the next volume.
I’m still laughing at the thought of Kathy Bates with a sledge hammer pleading you to re-write how you, Granny, and the Attorney all end up.
James
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Strapped to a bed? Sledgehammer?
In your dreams, pal. In your dreams!
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
After I read your last post, will there only be a pile of clothes left in front of my computer monitor?
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Wait…don’t YOU have the sledgehammer? Har har. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Tap tap.
I’ve already said I’ll miss the blog. It’s true that it doesn’t embody you completely, but it’s been 3 years and it’s been nice knowing you this way through it.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I’m sad to see you close the shutters here, Tony, but I think it’s natural for a blog to have its own life span.
I’ve been writing mine for just about two years, and for now I’ve got no plans to close up shop, because it’s still meeting me needs. I started it to get back into a daily writing habit, and having to post four or five days a week has really loosened up my writing chops.
Sometimes people ask me for different kinds of stuff than I provide, but I don’t fret about it, because it’s my blog.
July 4th, 2008 at 3:44 am
Tony, it will be a say day to have to let you go…
Why does some idiot gay have to ruin everything by reducing any endeavor to cock? It’s kind of pathetic.
I love cock as much as the next queer, but there has to be more attached to it: a story, a human being, a fetish, a life being lived. That’s when it gets really interesting. And sexy to boot.
July 4th, 2008 at 3:45 am
Oops, I meant “sad” day, of course. Very, very sad, for us readers.
July 4th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
It was probably meant in a very harmless way but you make a very good point. You have no responsibility to anyone other than yourself as to what does and does not go into your blog.
As for your leaving, I am very sad. I have grown very close to you over the years. Your writings, perspective, and sense of humor will be sorely missed. I know we will stay in touch however, I can’t help but feel a pang of loss.
My selfish feelings aside, you best of all know when it is time to move on. If it is that time then I support you, as always
July 5th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Is there still time to buy a t-shirt?
July 5th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
It’s all good!
July 5th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I’ll be very sad indeed to read what will be your last post. It will seem like loosing a friend — but then again, no matter what happens between friends, whether you stay in touch or not, you never really loose them, do you?
July 5th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Tony, it sounds like you have already left. When a relationship dies (or even a blog) the persons never leave at the same time. One leaves first, and then the others follows. To set things straight, your blog has always been about you. The name of the blog is “Large Tony” not “the views on life by Tony”. You have been the subject of about 99% of your Posts. So it has been about you. Maybe it should have been “Tony mememe.” Of course that’s what has readers coming back. They are interested in you and what you write. Your views on life, through your eyes. Oh, yes you have been sexually suggestive, nude body parts is suggestive. Not to name a said T-Shirt . For as fans, I am a fan of yours, not like a teenager and Elvis, but I like reading your stuff, nothing more. I have no desire to make you the starring role in my fantasy or even Steven King’s fantasy.
I think you probably have a large following, no like Jesus, but a following. So if you think everyone is shifting their attention to you. You are wrong. There is where it has always been. Sorry Tony all this time we have all loved you for your body and your mind. It’s hell to be beauty and loved.
July 6th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Finally, realizing the end is upon us, I’m trying to get a t shirt, and the blasted response is “your shopping cart is empty” and do you know how I can fix that? I’m sorry to send this to a public place, but I don’t know how else to get in touch.
July 6th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
A little senioritis is to be expected at this late stage in the game
Thanks for sharing all that you have.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Tony, that guy who sent you that email is a prick. I only just recently started getting into your blog and I am sad that you will be closing it up soon… but I know we all have to do what makes us happy. I know that when I write in my blog it is to share what is going on in my life and stuff like that… and I wouldn’t be very happy to get an email like that from someone making demands for sexual content. He should just be happy that you have shared so much of your life in your writing. That is what I enjoy when I come here. Your blog is always the first one I click on when I’m surfing through my blogroll. I’m gonna hate to see you shut down.
July 7th, 2008 at 1:29 am
I disagree with Gary. Like everything else, there are times it is difficult to put forth the effort to keep a relationship (in this case, you and your blog) alive and fresh. You got creative and took a few breaks but you kept it alive and enjoyable- if not just for us.
My ex loved Star Trek and was upset when it ended. I watched the last episode with him, which was entitled “All good things…” and although I didn’t understand the obsession, came to the realization that some of the best things do come to and end at just the right time for people… Just like your blog became an escapism for me over 3 years ago.
The difficult part is the selfishness I feel that I have had getting to know you and those important to you so well and not having the opportunity to invite ya’all over for a Sunday supper!
July 7th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I feel like I’m waiting for a friend to leave. I know the friend will be okay and I know I will be okay, but I’m still miffed that I’m going to miss the times we shared. Of course this is very much a one sided relationship. You have enriched my world, yet I have contributed very little to yours. I will miss your thoughtful perspectives on life, love and the rest of the world.
July 7th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Wow, Tony. I echo what Michaelo and the others say. The blogosphere will be a smaller place without you
I am sending lots of love and blessings your way as you open the next volume, and want only the best for you and your loved ones.
*HUGS*
July 7th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I am a fan of yours, just not a fanatic. I read your blog because you and when the end comes I will be sad.
July 7th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Tony,
I have come to enjoy your writing very much. I will miss your posts greatly. Please continue to write in some form/fashion because you definately have a gift.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Tony, your reader’s don’t “deserve” anything but what you decide to put on your blog. Don’t let some oversexed homo try to dictate the contents of your corner of cyberspace. Just because someone can’t control himself doesn’t mean you have to cater to their adolescent, sophomoric whims. That said, I’m sure your “dictate” real good, mister.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
ok…why I typed “reader’s” instead of “readers” is beyond me, but the second variation is the correct one.
July 17th, 2008 at 1:27 am
Wow, that is a tad bit heavy to handle. Makes me kinda glad that no one really pressures me into being a certain way on my blog. Then again, most of the time when I’m writing in it, I’m just blabbing about nonsense hehe. Then again, there was one time when I paid tribute to a local celebrity that had just passed and someone left a comment complaining that I shouldn’t be talking about this celebrity and blogging about hot porn in the same place (there was a porn review and links to some hot sites that I like further down the page in different posts). In a way, I could kind of see the guy’s point… but at the same time, who the hell was he to tell me what I can and can’t do, you know?
I see why you are eager to shut down the blog though… pressure from anyone to write a certain way can make blogging lose its appeal after a while. I do hope that you’ll keep in touch though after the blog goes down. God willing, maybe we’ll all meet someday for real