Role In The Hay
In response to my post where I went off on a water sports tangent, Sue of Fairview pointed out that pee-pee is good for disinfecting wounds.
SIDEBAR: Don’t we have enough homonyms in the English language without having them in our slang, too? You know…pee-pee comes out of your pee-pee?
Anyway, Sue’s comment made we wonder if I could get into water sports if I was role-playing.
Like if I was the well-hydrated forest ranger and my partner was a snake-bite victim. (”Not on my leg, Mr. Forest Ranger! My face! The cobra bit me on my face! All over my face!”)
Except that I don’t really get into role playing either.
I know my preferences in the sack are probably sounding pretty vanilla. Maybe they are. I’m just your basic straight-forward country boy fuck. All I need is good wad of spit and a sturdy surface. If that’s vanilla, then give me a triple cone.
The problem with role-playing is that it requires at least some level of planning. I like the kind of sex that can just happen. Right where you’re standing. Planning takes all the fun out of it.
It’s one thing to make sure you’re nice and cleaned out before an encounter. That’s not planning, that’s being prepared. (Isn’t that the Boy Scout motto? “Be prepared.” I wonder…if gay scouts masters were allowed, would there be a douche badge?)
Even if it’s as simple as, “go upstairs and wait for the UPS man to arrive,” it’s still a plan. You still have to put on the brown outfit before getting busy. Gonna play the pizza boy? Gotta at least have a box. And your buddy is gonna need some cash. (Or not. Maybe the plan is the pizza boy gets stiffed…literally.)
Or if, in the interest of spontaneity, you keep your partner in the dark and hope he plays along and improvises when you show up with an eye patch and a parrot, you still had a plan. And you run the risk of him becoming one of those unwilling victims who gets pulled on stage like he was in a perverted “Who’s Line Is It Anyway.”
To make it even less planned, you could try it without any props or costumes (or voices.) But that would just basically make you a mime. And nobody wants to fuck a mime. Mimes should fuck themselves.
To be honest, I guess I do sort of role-play in my head sometimes. There have been times in the middle of it all, my mind will create a picture for me. (You know how guys like pictures).
Perhaps there may have been a time or two where, in my head, I was the possessed sinner who was having the devil orally exorcised by a very determined kneeling priest. Maybe. or the dutiful construction worker who has been assigned to pressure-wash the newly-widened tunnel. Perhaps.
Even so, it would have all been in my head. Where would I have gotten holy water and a hard hat anyway?
June 25th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
“Mimes should fuck themselves.”
Now I’m getting a whole new image of that “man-in-a-box” routine! An enjoyable post, as always, Tony! (and no tears for a change!) Hope your back is easing…I had my first serious experience with back troubles this past winter, so I definitely feel your pain!
June 25th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
“Mimes should fuck themselves.”
Now I’m getting a whole new image of that “man-in-a-box” routine!
An enjoyable post, as always, Tony! (and no tears for a change!) Hope your back is easing…I had my first serious experience with back troubles this past winter, so I definitely feel your pain!
June 25th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Role play from time to time can be fun. The anticipation of “getting into character” can be quite erotic. Variety is the spice of life after all.
June 25th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Never did do the role-play thing. Although, I guess I fucked the Comcast cable installation guy for 2.5 yrs, considering he was my boyfriend at the time. We never did play it up though.
I chained a Realtors legs up in a sling hanging from his bedroom ceiling over his bed recently does that count!? LOL
June 25th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
LT… Now I know you have more imagination than that… Lets say for instance, you were to meet The Attorney out for a drink… You walk in, see him sitting at the bar… Walk up say your name… Or, not even… Take a seat across the bar… Eyeball him for a few, order him a drink… Walk over sit next to him, introduce yourself, make suggestive small talk, innuendo, blatantly hit on him, order him another drink… Take him home, and screw his brains out… Not alot of planning there… You can come down and practice on me… I’m just sayin’…
Love from Atlanta
June 25th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Try saying “douche badge” fast 3 times-I dare you!!!
June 25th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Re: mimes. There was a wonderful Far Side cartoon showing a mime walking among huge trees and he caption was: “If a mime was walking in the forest and a tree fell and killed him . . . would anybody care?”
I’ve always thought vanilla’s a more interesting flavor than anyone gives it credit for.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Ohhh! A parrot and an eye patch?!? Talk dirty to me you bent over, back aching pirate!
Yeah — I’m just content to show real and true love to another. What role playing could ever stand up to that? What could be better than looking another in the eyes and stating how much you care for them — sex or no sex. A connection and understanding of souls and minds is much, much more erotic and meaningful. When two people can find a way to true communicate and be honest, that’s magic. You should try it sometime. You’d be surprised.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:52 am
My husband and I do Synrgy’s meet up in the bar one. We also do the lost little waif one, the cheerleader one, oh no. Now I’m telling you too much about my personal life. The hub’s gonna be mad!
June 26th, 2008 at 9:19 am
I’ve tried the role play thing but find that I get too caught up in the sex and forget what I’m supposed to role-play.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Who needs to learn the Stanislavsky method to have a good time? For me the visual is important. An occasional unexpected exposure can light my fire like a blow torch. Commando surprise and I’m down with that too. Props, dialogue, sets… not so much.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Triple cone wins, hands down. Good lovin’ needs minimal accessories. Let’s just call it an East Tennessee country boy thing.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Role playing. Not my interest, tried it a couple of times and was lame at it. Wish it was an interest of mine, might be nice to be able to offer more than the standard menu and be able offer `a la carte.
June 26th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Never done the role-playing thing either. Although I’ve had many fantasies about getting plowed by a cop or construction worker or any other hot image I’ve come up against in the past.. and yeah I’ve had a military guy go at me in his fatigues… but if the guy I’m dating isn’t any of those things in real life, that would be a bit difficult for me to deal with in role play.
June 27th, 2008 at 11:56 am
i think real life is better than role playing. Just harder, if u wanna be fucked by a cop, fireman, or whoever.
jay
June 27th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Role play is interesting - it’s only a scene that you’ve decided you’d like to act out. But both partners really have to be into it for it to work.
Personally, I much prefer the spontaneous. If you both find yourself in the mood in a place other than the bed - go for it! You know, like when you’re going for a walk in the woods (wink-wink, nudge-nudge)
June 28th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Sure, when you have sex it’s nice to be yourself. But sometimes it’s even nicer to be someone else
June 28th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
No worries. Always nice sex just for the sake of sex itself. Without roleplay.
June 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
The planning is probably why you don’t care for the sixty nine position, also. When one has to do something, it takes away from the doing. Thanks for sharing.
June 29th, 2008 at 8:12 am
How’s your back doing? Did The Attorney make a first-ever visit to you and Granny? Please do tell!
June 29th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Role; Schmole. You keep coming back to this so try it like I did. Get your man while in the shower. If he doesn’t go for it, t goes right down the drain. If he does, somebody drops to their knees and takes it like a man (hee hee).I went for it cause it was out there and I needed to experiment. Didn’t go for it in the bedroom cause 1-800 mattres is never gonna question my sex-play. GOODLUCK.