I’m in a relationship (21 years so far) and my hubby and I have never made the same amount of money. We used a pro-rated system at first (when I made next to nothing).

We have always had a joint account and use it to pay for all shared bills / expenses. We each pay for our own credit card purchases.

We also learned to budget for things. Within our first year of moving in together, we set up a household budget to understand and evaluate where our money was needed, and then figured out a pro-rated contribution to pay for it all.

Have you taken the time to look at your own budget? - you’d be surprised to see where your money goes if you don’t keep track of it…

And I highly recommend the “get rich slowly” blog as it offers all sorts of tips and information about financial management… and shared experiences.

Back to me and the hubby - as my income has increased, the pro-rated system has served its purpose. I now make enough to pay for my half of the household bills. Extra money goes into a travel account, an emergency fund, and also contributions to our retirement plans.

It strikes me that if you are really serious about maintaining a relationship, you have to learn compromise and how to accept some financial assistance from your boyfriend. I highly doubt that he thinks any less of you as a man for feeling the pain at the pumps (you’re certainly not alone there!).

The fact is, he has the means to help offset the rising costs and ensure that HE gets to see you, too. It’s win-win.

I wish you all the best in figuring this out!

/r

Look as someone who has been on both sides of this dilemma, I say be flexible. It seems to me that you only have so much longer that you will be apart (for reasons of which I am sure you are aware), and a lot of your appeal is the honesty, sincerity and love with which you deal with your life. The joint gas card in which you contribute a proportionate share and use to fill up for travel, is a great idea. I am sorry that the mileage reimbursement term was used, but that is just a standard terminology. I am sure that your relationship (the big R, since you won’t own up to the big L) is more rewording than a hurtful pride would be.

Cheer and good luck to you.

Thing is, nothing is ever equal. I’m fat, bald, and ugly. If I find a partner he has something I don’t have: youth, looks and a very hard cock. Now I’ve never given anyone money and don’t plan to. But that may have more to do with my lack of the ready than the purity of my morals.

My point is this: it is not a compromise of one’s integrity to consider a matter and even come to a new conclusion. Rather it is maturity that allows one to deal with reality. I’ve made two major 180 degree career moves that involved significant financial risk, one had the potential for financial disaster, and she has supported me every time. Turned out ok, but there was a time 15 years ago when I teatered on the edge of bankruptcy. Support his needs but let him support yours too. Open your heart and your mind to possibilities, seek solutions and seek them together.

For what it’s worth, this is how I’ve done it. If it’s so important to her that there’d be an argument, we do what she wants. She’s worth it.

And there’s a left-handed compliment in this response from me. Bless your heart, I know I’m safe here. Lying, hypocritical, unfaithful slob that I am, I got here trying to do what I could, made the best I could of where I find myself. Damn, we humans are awful … and awfully wonderful.

Now, arguing over sports teams - now THAT’s an argument worth having! Gas prices - not so much.

You’re seriously having an argument over GAS MONEY?! You just posted about trying to find an outdoor physical activity that you could do as a couple TOGETHER. That’s going to be awfully difficult to do if you’re trying to cut down on the number of times a week that you want to see your man. The attorney was only being logical AND caring, although I’m sure that it wasn’t from ENTIRELY pure motivations. (After all, it sounds like there’s a LONG list of reasons why he’d want to keep you around.)

But in all seriousness, look at how quickly he volunteered to help - he likes how often you get together and doesn’t want that to change. While you might be dating, I feel like it is moving to something more like a partnership. Do partners, even in business, actually pull 100% of their own weight? Is it even really a exactly equal 50/50 division? My answer would be no - they recognize what each other’s strengths and abilities are, and they choose to work with that person because they complement them. Realize that the attorney has the financial resources to ensure that you two can be together. Figure out an area that he is deficient in and fill that gap - maybe it is being handy around the house, baking him that pound cake, buying that special bottle of wine every once and awhile. Whatever it is, realize that this is HIS way of complementing you in your relationship, as he feels that you complement him.

Swallow your pride, and realize that your checkbook isn’t inextricably tied to how big your dick is - be thankful you have such a caring man that really wants to spend time with you. He offered as a gift; don’t be a big dick because your big dick won’t let you graciously accept his offer.

It is such an easy trap to fall into and it I have found (through my own experiences) that it is usually and escape route….or an easy way to undermine the relationship.

If you want to be offended, be so when he offers to pay per inch of a Tony Baloney sammich.