Tunnel of Love
A common argument by those who can not appreciate the joys of butt sex (I like to call them The Unenlightened) , is that the ass is “meant for pushing stuff out, not taking in.”
First of all, why do they call it “stuff,” if it’s not going in?
Second of all, take a look at this anatomy chart. Your rear innards are shaped exactly like a penis. If this was a Jello mold, you could have pecker jigglers in a couple of hours. Granted, the heat would make it difficult for the gelatin to set. So maybe you could toss in some yeast and flour and make breadsticks instead.
I know the scientific term is rectum, but let’s face it (I have). It’s really nature’s cock cozy.
That’s why it feels so right. Like slipping on a glove. A warm, sticky, wet glove. But a glove, nonetheless.
And like a glove, it will eventually stretch out if you wear it enough times.
UPDATE:
Sue, who apparently paid attention in science class, pointed out that the chart above represents girl innards. I just assumed that the cock and balls were left off since the chart was about bootie. How embarrassing. But, it goes to show you how much attention I pay to dick when presented with ass.
Anyway, she sent this chart of man innards.
And it only strengthens my point. Look at the difference. I don’t know of this is typical of all guys or whether the model was a power bottom (even though the bootie is a little flat). But what this chart tells me is that the ladies may like the long curved ones, but fellas have a looser sphincter and are built for accommodating straighter thicker dongs. Which is just what I was built to provide.
February 8th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Wait, so does it curve inside? I’m just looking and imagining something like 9-12 inches going inside. Does the penis curve to it? Where’s the sphincter in the diagram? Yes, I’m looking way into this too much, but I just wonder.
February 8th, 2008 at 7:57 am
OMG. You made an anatomy diagram ridiculously erotic. Well done!
February 8th, 2008 at 10:08 am
tell me about it. it gets easier with lots of practice
February 8th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Yet, this is a female anatomy. See, there is a cervix and uterus. Where is the male anatomy with a penis, testes and prostate? The prostate is the real joy of anal sex (for the reciever) as I understand it. So, please provide the male anatomy and reveal the wonder of it all.
February 8th, 2008 at 11:24 am
The perfect way to convince the conservative right. Muahahaha! I will never look at it the same way again!
February 8th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Handled well LT. Love the tongue ‘n cheek stuff as well. “Blog Anatomy, Butt-Sex for Begginers”(A freshmen requirement); now there’s a class I would’ve gotten and A in.
February 8th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I gave a talk to a pysch class once where someone raised the “Butt is for pooping” argument. I very nicely asked the guy where urine came out of. He literally did not understand the comparison.
February 8th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
i’m not that visual, you’ll have to provide some tactile examples. In your case, VERY tactile.
February 8th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
While the pecker canal is a delight, it is also a near perfect facility for the transmission of disease. When HIV enhanced semen is deposited in this chamber, it is kept warm and moist until it is absorbed into the bloodstream.
Yes, this “gift” is there to be enjoyed. Just make sure you don’t leave a deposit in this branch bank.
February 8th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
My Dear Large Tony - You remain an exquisitely sick fu@k, and I adore you for it. -A.
February 8th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Looks like somebody wasn’t paying very close attention in A&P 101. And what do you mean, ….it’s NOT a jello mold? All of these years I’ve been trying…..and withoutmuch luck. It’s funny, cause I just made some black cherry jello at home…..I’ll never think of it the same. And I promise to always call it SHIT SHIT SHIT. Not stuff
February 8th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Sounds like you need some butt sex.
Call me.
February 8th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
I agree with Alan. And I admire how you come up with this stuff…..or is it come in….oh well. You are awesome LT. You really need your own talk show.
February 8th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
I completely missed the sphincter the first time. Thanks for the re-do. That makes more sense to me now.
February 9th, 2008 at 4:19 am
This is the supreme elegance of Bauhaus: form follows function. Now let us form a working hypothesis. The hypothesis goes thus: two guys are in love and together for a long time. Up until then they were settled in their respective, or receptive, or insertive, roles. Yet, in the real world no one really is 100% this or 100% that. Let us further suppose … no … this sounds like a suppository. So, let us further hypotheSIZE … no, this doesn’t work either. OK, whatever! Let’s just say that our receptive little devil wakes up one morning with a twinkle in his eye. And fancies a momentary reversal of the situation. Just for the fun of it. What would the other guy do? Could he say “I’ve never tried it”? If you never tried it, how can you know it’s not to your liking? “I’ve tried it and didn’t like it”? “Well, do it for me”, comes the answer. It’s only sex, fercrissakes. I mean, when in bed, how can one say “No” to someone they love?
February 9th, 2008 at 9:38 am
OH MY, how wonderful an image!
Just to make sure you know, you’re hot, hung and appreciate a good ass… and obviously have studied it enough to know how to indulge in it properly… want to get married?
February 9th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Who knew you were so good at anatomy?!?
February 9th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I know you’re not a dick man, but i hope you let your partner (oops, I meant boyfriend) know how much you appreciate his love staff… Everyone wants their “thing” appreciated. Top or bottom. Small or big. Uncut or cut.
February 9th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Mmmmmmm….butt sex…..Large Tony………aaaaarrrgggghhhllllll
February 11th, 2008 at 10:50 am
“Tunnel of Love”?? Wasn’t that a pretty decent album by Bruce Springsteen?
Nice of Sue to catch your mistake before I did…LOL!
February 11th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
God! That was funny. I never really considered the shape until you pointed out. Very astute observation. hehehe
February 12th, 2008 at 12:52 am
You are pure evil….LMAO! YOY know I am joshin’! If it will accomodate yours, it will accomodate mine.
February 12th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Thanks for the anatomy, uh, lesson. As for me, I’m good either way. First bf was Captain Hook. Current one is Straight Up. No complaining here.
February 14th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
You are crackin my shit up! Love this story and love that you are “build to provide” LOL
I did also notice the 2nd diogram has a loose hole. I am thinking you are correct in assuming it was a power bottom, or at least a bottom that has met the likes of LARGE TONY
February 16th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Anytime you’re ready to provide me with some… bring it on
February 28th, 2008 at 12:55 am
“My kingdom for a prostate.”
I dunno where I read this, but it is apt.