Patience
Early Friday evening I was in the truck and on my way to see the attorney. At the same time, a friend of mine was getting on a plane to see his partner. I was going across a couple of counties, he was going across a couple of states. We were talking on the phone, catching up, and discussing our respective relationships.
Their’s is sort of jet-setting and fast-paced. Ours is easy-going and, by most standards, a little slow.
Some people say slow. I say patient.
If it was slow, how did a year go by so fast?
Last Friday was the most recent of our semi-regular Fridays. It was also, it turns out, the anniversary of our first real date.
If you were reading back then, you may remember that we went to see Dreamgirls that night. There was a song in the movie called “Patience.” I know the song is really about a social/political message. But, in a lot of ways, the lyrics apply on an interpersonal relationship level. At least for me. And the attorney and me.
Patience. We’re gonna find a way. Until that morning of a brighter day.
My friend and his boyfriend live thousands of miles apart, yet they see each other almost every week. The attorney and I are about an hour and a half apart, and have at times been lucky to see each other twice in a month. It’s not the way that either of us prefers it, but it is the way it is.
So we have patience. Patience until the next time. Until the next time when we find a way to work around distance, schedules, obligations, etc. Patience until a brighter day.
How long has it been? How long will it be?
I imagine I’m pretty lucky to find someone who is similar to me in that way. Some one who shares your level of patience. It can’t be easy.
That’s part of what makes him a good boyfriend for me.
Yeah, I said it: Boyfriend.
You knew I would say it one day. You just had to have patience.
January 21st, 2008 at 8:20 am
January 21st, 2008 at 9:58 am
what a great way to start the week. thanks for the great post.
January 21st, 2008 at 10:15 am
YEA!!!!!
I’m so happy for the both of you–Terriibly angry at the attorney for getting my secret imaginary boyfriend. I hope you have many more anniversaries.
January 21st, 2008 at 11:45 am
Sometimes you try my ______________. (Guess what???)
Just kidding!
January 21st, 2008 at 1:28 pm
You went and said the ‘B’ word and a million dreams were crushed… lucky for you the only one that mattered came true. Thanks for warming my heart on an otherwise-frigid day - I’m not the only one who’s happy for you.
January 21st, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Congratulations! Patience does pay off. A great way to start 2008, or any year. I am extremely happy your relationship has reached this level of comfort and security.
January 21st, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I’m so happy for you, Tony. Patience is its own reward, and yours (and his) is creating something very special. Happy First Date Anniversary to you and your boyfriend!
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:06 am
So, it’s official now? ‘Bout time. LOL. Good luck, secret taboo boyfriend.
January 22nd, 2008 at 5:51 am
Very sweet.
I am in a somewhat similar situation as my partner lives 2500 miles away. We get together for 2-8 weeks at a time, several times per year. The break serves us both well. Interesting, to say the least. Thanks for your post.
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
This IS great to read. One thing I’d say, though: of course “boyfriend” is a great term if you chose to use it, but what is so clear in both your anniversary reflection and your friend’s long-distance relationship, is that you are all acting like MEN, not like boys. It’s not wearing the letter sweater in high school, or double-dating to the movies; it’s two (or four to use the contrasting case) mature grown-ups, who have found a way to remain individuals and still have a union that suits them. It’s remaining strong and independent, but choosing when you need to share some support and co-dependence. And it’s the hardest thing in the world, whether you are gay or straight. In some aspects of gay society, there is such a premium on romance, youth, superficiality, and living-for-the-moment that the longer and harder virtues of patience, acceptance of differences even in your peer group, and investment in someone else’s soul instead of just their body can go by the wayside. You don’t need a marriage license or a single word to describe that other person (boyfriend, partner, spouse, husbear, lover); you just know it’s right and will fight to keep it as right as possible. We all aspire to that. Thanks for inspiring us that it’s out there and possible, if you’re willing to work at it.
January 22nd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I just came upon your blog viz aussielicious and I am officially hooked. It’s nice to read an eloquent gay blog! Read ya soon!
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Congratulations. How does he refer to you?
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Oh well, clutch the pearls and get me the smelling salts………..i got the vapors!
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:18 pm
congratulations on your skilled use of the ‘B’ word. I am so relieved. I have been waiting for a year to hear you use it. Now I can relax
January 24th, 2008 at 9:38 am
awwww! tonys got a boyfriend. tonys got a boyfriend! congratulations sir.
January 25th, 2008 at 11:10 am
At last you said the B word. I almost screamed with excitmetn when I finaly read that.
On the down side I was about to start taking bets on when yoiu were going to say it. Well that’s not posible now.
Guess I’m going to have to run a book on when you get married instead.
Any takers.