Poop And Scoop Barbie
A friend of mine sent me this link the other day.
I know there are all kinds of Barbies. From Malibu to Holiday. But, I never thought I’d see a Poop and Scoop Barbie.
Yes, there is now a Barbie whose dog, Tanner, takes a crap. The dolls come with a handful (no pun intended) of little plastic turds that Tanner pinches off and that Barbie can scoop up and put in a waste can. I’m not sure if this is supposed to teach kids to be polite and pick up after their doggie make s a doodie or if it’s to teach young people that body functions are a natural part of life.
Probably not the latter, otherwise it would have been BM Barbie and her dream house would finally be equipped with plumbing.
And a good thing, too. Because you know that from there it would be just one small step to Nocturnal Emission Ken and a slippery slope (again, no pun intended) to Bloody Discharge Barbie.
Next thing you know, the adult toy industry would want their piece of the consumer pie.
And what better way grab a slice than with a Barbie that serves edible pie? Cream Pie Barbie will come (pun intended) with Cunnilingus Ken, who eats Barbie’s plastic gash and accepts her creamy flow into a special internal receptacle where the liquid is recycled and stored for use until the roles are reversed. (Deep Throat Barbie and Skull Fuck Ken…finally Ken will ship with something in his britches).
Their fluids will transfer from one to the other and back again. As many times as you want! Talk about the cycle of life!
Skull Fuck Ken can also come with a gay modification to match him up with and anally take the loads of other Kens. Afterwards, you can hook him up with Barbie’s former man and, voila!, old straight Cunnilingus Ken becomes Felching Ken.
Naturally, Felching Ken also easily adapts as Rim Job Ken or Scat Whore Ken.
Before you know it, there will be endless combinations of Barbies and Kens pooping and eating and sucking and rimming and trimming. (Throw Tanner in the mix and it’s a BM/bestiality field day!)
After all, they say there is nothing that Barbie can’t (an apparently won’t) do. Who am I to poop on her dreams?
November 2nd, 2007 at 7:11 am
well, to quote one of my favorite books EVERYBODY POOPS. i know you don’t go to the movies, but it’s even a really good laugh in the most recent Steve Carell film, DAN IN REAL LIFE. And speaking of REAL movies, if you have a chance, it’s worth a trip to see LARS AND THE REAL GIRL. i know it will come out eventually on DVD, but the town in it reminds me a lot of small towns i knew in TN, GA, and FL. Maybe like your town too? primarily, though, the gentle lesson of it, once you accept the out-there premise, is really nice, and the acting is amazing.
As to your new take on Ken, how did you know to borrow my phone sex line moniker, Skull Fuck?!?!?!
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:31 am
Barbie has a dog that really poops? Eew! Too much reality already. Stop the world, I want to get off!
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:35 am
yeah, Barbie used to be about fantasy, and now she’s about teaching lessons and having careers. What a shame. Of course, GI Joe used to be about lessons (in killing) and careers (in world domination) and my fantasies were quite different (he and Big Jim got it on a LOT in the Big Jim RV Trailer) so i guess fair is fair.
November 2nd, 2007 at 9:25 am
you are quite the creative chap!
November 2nd, 2007 at 9:49 am
Where on earth did your mind come up with all that? Nasty Barbie!
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Party pooper.
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Where did you hear such things…..Who corrupted you! =P
November 2nd, 2007 at 5:53 pm
I noticed a rule of etiquette recently. When a man and woman go walking the dog, it is the man’s job to carry the shit sack. I would hope Ken knows what he is in for now.
November 3rd, 2007 at 8:06 am
Unfortunately you can’t get Barbie and Tanner anymore. They were one of many toys made in China and recalled due to lead levels….
November 3rd, 2007 at 3:13 pm
“…I’m not sure if this is supposed to teach kids to be polite and pick up after their doggie make s a doodie or if it’s to teach young people that body functions are a natural part of life….”
It might be just to inform our (ooof!)spring that… dogs eat their own shit, and that’s not a nice thing for you to do, especially at school. Mommy and Daddy will get phone calls.
Could also be that they want to sell more cinnamon tic-tacs.
November 3rd, 2007 at 3:14 pm
“…When a man and woman go walking the dog,..”
Yeah, boyeeeee! You rock!
November 3rd, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Okay, sometimes I think you spend a little too much time thinking about this stuff…
November 6th, 2007 at 11:02 am
That’s some funny shite, Tony! A few years back a friend and I had a field day coming up with Reality Barbies like “Barbie’s Dream Crack House” and “Little Baby Drive-By”. We came up with many more but those still make me laugh.
Thanks for your blogging! You rock.
November 6th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I wonder if she’s gonna run for President (at the last minute)?
November 7th, 2007 at 2:50 am
Quite the IMAGINATION there LT! Now what would Grannie think of you? *eg*
November 7th, 2007 at 4:12 am
What will FAO Schwartz think!
July 6th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Hahahahahaha! This is very funny article and I loved it! I would love to have my own Cream Pie Barbie but I’ll settle for a live one! hehehehehe….Seriously, if there are kinds of Barbies out there that have this “features(?)”, it’s time parents would step up and do something about it. A sexy Barbie is good enough but this one? No way, Jose!
-Canned Good ( Personal Bank Checks )