Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?
One of the cool things about blogging is sharing the things you find on other blogs. I came (literally) across these melons on the blog About A Boy and His Briefs. They belong to the author and to quote a Seinfeld episode, “They are real and they are spectacular.” He should have called his blog “About A Boy and his Bootie.”
(For those of you who have not immediately jumped over to his blog and are still with me–or those who couldn’t get to his blog because his server crashed from all the traffic trying to get in– I will continue.)
He’s got what I call a “Mary Poppins ass.” I don’t call it that because it’s got my thing a-poppin’. I call it a “Mary Poppins” because it’s “practically perfect in every way.”
And I hate him for it.
This is the kind of ass that I would have a fuck/hate relationship with. I’d want to take it, but I’d also want to have it.
I know, I know. The tenth commandment of blogging is “thou shalt not covet thy neighbors ass.” But, look at that thing. It’s full and round in every direction. Top to bottom. Side to side. Southwest to northeast. And the reverse.
It cantilevers over so much that I could rest a plate of hot wings on it and hold my beer in the cleavage. That’s not an ass, that’s a coozy. That moon is so full, it casts shadows on the backs of his thighs. There’s more shade under there than a willow tree in summer.
Here’s the ironic (or in my opinion, evil) thing about genetics. The possessor of the bulbous buttocks and I are the same age, the same height, and the same weight. So why doesn’t my ass look like that (or my legs, for that matter)? He says he gets it from yoga. Well, I get regular exercise and have been athletic all my life. I even climb up and down ladders all day. So, why hast genetics forsaken me?
Maybe it’s all an evolution thing. Some sort of self-contained natural selection. Since I prefer to work in shipping rather than receiving, my ass genes realized that they would become obsolete and the department was down-sized. (I’m just glad the memo was never sent the front office. )
But even though I don’t have any great desire to be fucked, would it be so bad to have an ass that looks like I do?
I guess I should be thankful. If cocks can be too big to get into some orifices (or is it orifi?) I guess it’s also true that asses can be too plump from some cocks to get all the way into. Down to the core.
Imagine having a powerful thirst and not having a dipper long enough to reach the bottom of the well. That is evil.
August 8th, 2007 at 8:30 am
Yeah, he has a “David” ass. As in Michelangelo’s David. I hate him too. I can’t get rid of the body fat or do enough squats. Mine is just hockey player big.
August 8th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Havin’ a slammin’ booty would double the attention you already get for havin’ a slammin’ front. Could you really handle that? Careful what you wish for. Just be happy you found those “magic” britches!
August 8th, 2007 at 11:16 am
One of the seven sins: bootie envy
August 8th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Yeah, that IS a great ass. Seen better tho’. On a football (that’s soccer to y’all) player. You know, running on grass with cleats for years and stuff. Very tasty
)
August 8th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
….but where’s the fuzz???
August 8th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Being a visual artist and understanding something about form and how shadows fall, I would say the melons are no optical illusion but they are definitely, in my opinion, not melons (Michelangelo’s David…not! Bulbous? Cantilevering? I just don’t see it. Are my eyes deceiving me?
I visited his blog, he appears to have his wits about him, and that is quite attractive. I, personally, do not think that it would be because of his gluteus maximus where he would get a “wow!” lip-syncing from my lips. His body is typical of an ectomorph; definitive “hard gainer”, delicate built body, flat chest, fragile, lean, lightly muscled, small shouldered, takes longer to gain muscle, thin. I dare say, that you fall in this category yourself.
I think when you take a closer look, comparing the right to left gluteus; you will notice the left gluteus sort of falls somewhat flat. It is not to say that he is incapable of busting a nut, butt…but he would have a hard time crackin’ them. The legs are nice and he has a well defined (not a gram of fat) torso.
It just comes down to this, you like them and they are melons in your eyes but I wouldn’t be spittin’ those seeds if given the opportunity.
August 8th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
his backside, your frontside… the money you guys could make in the adult video world… you both are very good looking guys from the waste up… what you have below the waste is a PLUS… I am jealous of you both…but, if either of you are in richmond….hehehhe
August 9th, 2007 at 8:34 am
If you read his blog, he feels that his butt is flat and is not happy with it. But, he also admits that he has a problem with how he views his body. I’d say he right there because that is one bodacious booty! Um, and I don’t think that you have been forsaken at all LT!
August 9th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
You should think yourself lucky. Gravity, as i’ve discovered can swing on a booty. And given your pitching role, rather than catching, would you want to be swatting other pitchers away from the catching plate all the time?
August 13th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
i dont like my booty.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Buns, buns, and more buns!!!! Gotsta have me more buns!!! Nibble here, a nibble there. Ok…you’ve succeeded in getting me all horned up LT.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
PS…..By the way, How the heck have you been? haven’t seen much of you…still hanging with the Attorney?
August 17th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
people always think less of what they have . i will trade my ass for his
and yes it is genetics and dude ur blessed with the genetics of a front side and that dude with the back side
August 21st, 2007 at 5:11 am
I’m just curious what he has to say about the ass