LARGETONY Blog

A Letter From USAFG (United States Americans For Geography), a non-profit organization
Dear Citizen,
Did you know that every day more than 2,000,000 “U.S” Americans go without maps? Many lack basic navigation that you and I take for granted. Stuttering teens starve to know whether Florida is the one that looks like a flaccid [...]

You are all aware of the object of my obsession.
I’ve devoted several thousand words to him a few times on this very blog. I’ve burned a few hours scouring the net for pictures of People’s sexiest bachelor. I’ve replayed the tent scene from “Brokeback Mountain” over and over in my head (with my [...]

It must be difficult to live in a place that is at the center of natural disasters. I think about people who live along the San Andreas or the Gulf Coast. Waiting for the next big one. Looking out for the next Andrew or Katrina.
We don’t have stuff like that in East [...]

How is it that those of us born in late June or early July got saddled with a zodiac sign like Cancer? Who decided on that name? How did we get that when others got things like Gemini or Aries.
I’m sure Cancer comes from some astrological something-or-other or ancient Roman mythology, too. [...]

There are two types of people who are afraid to drink tequila: those who got sick on it and those haven’t taken a shot in years. (Margarita’s don’t count because they are colorful and come in a glass the size of your head with a bendy straw. That’s not liquor, that’s a theme [...]

Remember Florida State Representative Bob Allen?
The one who once sponsored a Bill called the “Lewd or Lascivious Exhibition Act” that would outlaw masturbation in front of another adult, even consensually, but was ironically arrested in July for allegedly offering to give oral sex to an undercover officer in a public restroom. While good ol’ [...]

One of the cool things about blogging is sharing the things you find on other blogs. I came (literally) across these melons on the blog About A Boy and His Briefs. They belong to the author and to quote a Seinfeld episode, “They are real and they are spectacular.” He should have [...]