Classy Lady
When it comes to matters of class, why do people so often lack class?
I’ve been meaning to tell this story for a couple of weeks and I was reminded of it when I was talking to a friend last night.
The attorney has an arbor in his back yard and one of the wooden posts was starting to rot. He decided it was time to replace the post so went Home Depot to get a new one. Now, I’m not a handy man. I’m pretty ham handed when it comes to things like that and I end up breaking things I’m trying to fix. But I can lift heavy things so i can be of some use as a helper.
We took my truck and when we returned to his house, he went around to open the back gate while I unloaded the lumber. An older woman was across the street sweeping the clippings from a fresh mow job off her walk. I could tell that she was watching me and when the attorney came back to the driveway, she took the opportunity to trot across the street and say hello.
Which she did. Said hello. To the attorney. Not to me.
Okay, fine. She’s his neighbor. She knows him, not me. She was probably expecting him to introduce us.
But, before he could, she blurted out the real purpose of her trip across the asphalt.
“Do you think when you’re done with him, he’d want to come do some things for me?”
This is where you would hear the needle scratch across the record and the music stop. Or see the dog’s ears perk and his head twist like he heard a high pitched noise. Instead, I saw the attorney’s big ears turn red and he stiffened (not the good kind of stiffening), which you wouldn’t think would be possible considering he already is pretty much an oak tree. He was angry.
Apparently she assumed I was a hired hand, because I know she wasn’t talking about me doing for her the things I do for the attorney. It wasn’t like she was Mayella Ewell asking Tom to come inside the yard and bust up her chiffarobe. Besides, she’d be awful sore when her hip replacement got wrecked.
Literally.
The attorney looked at her dumbfounded for a second (even though it felt like minutes) and I could swear I heard his jaw clench. The he broke a perfect Southern Gentleman’s smile and said in calm very measure tone:
“Mrs. ________, could I introduce you to my friend, Tony. He is helping me repair my arbor and was kind enough to loan me his truck. Tony, this is my neighbor, Mrs. _________.”
That’s a gift we Southerners have. We can tell you to go to hell on your flaming broomstick and make it sound like we just invited you over for sweetea.
Being another Southerner, old Mrs. ________ caught the message (a Yankee would have asked for extra lemon) and, with a cordial nod and a clutch of her imaginary pearls, she hopped on her Firebolt and zoomed back to her lair.
I can laugh about it now, but i felt a little embarressed at the time. I already have some insecurities about fitting into the attorney’s world. Not because of anything he has ever done. Despite the fact that he is wealthier, more educated, and more socially connected than I am, he has never ever made me feel less than.
When it comes to matters of class, the attorney is loaded with class.
But he does love to rub it in my face that he can run faster. So I just point out that my dick is bigger and rub it in his face.
Literally.
July 30th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
chiffarobe, flaming broomstick, sweetea (one word) that was the best fucking thing i have heard, read, watched or otherwise all day long.. i feel you brother.. and i call that living big.. bravo to the attorney and to you and to mrs. so and so..
July 31st, 2007 at 2:36 am
Just Another View:
It is hard to judge the situation because of such mitigating circumstances like. your dress compared to the dress of the attorney and such things. Isn’t it that way in a court of law? Had the attorney from the gittyup introduced you as his “main squeeze” then he could have circumvent any forthcoming misunderstandings (”Oh, I feel the slings and arrows”). Is it not etiquette/”proper behavior” for older women, first, to be introduced to strange men before offering a hand or acknowledgment - considering that she is older and possibly from another era of southern behavior? She might then be considered a loose tawdry woman acting otherwise.
I have also, embarrassingly, misread the the status of other people. Who is free from such fail judgment? It has often happened to me here, living here in Germany. “No! I did not come to Germany because of the military. ” No! I am not from Africa!) “No! I do not sell dope!” Admittedly, it did get on my nerves but that is how some people are. Should I blame them for their lack of worldliness or should I learn to rise above this?
The attorney did well to maintain his composure and civility. Really, the situation does not seem so tragic or a character assassination attempt. It sounds more like one of those situations of reading a situation falsely without malice. Or, did I miss something? (how does the attorney get along with this neighbor? Has there been any previous altercations?)
I have learned that “class” is when a lady has an expensive handkerchief and wears it tucked within her sleeve and she knows that it is there. It is not necessary for everyone to see.
July 31st, 2007 at 5:28 am
That was awesome… So LT… You are a Potter fan… Learn something new everyday…
July 31st, 2007 at 5:58 am
A nice sweet story, although it lacked a detailed description of what you were (or were not) wearing, Tony. Either that, or a picture
July 31st, 2007 at 6:03 am
Just reading along and eating my breakfast. Then I get to the part
“Do you think when you’re done with him, he’d want to come do some things for me?”
I almost choked on my Egg McMuffin. LOL
July 31st, 2007 at 6:04 am
On the other hand, what two genteel Southern gentlemen could have possibly done is hop across the street and fix this old lady’s broken stuff - not for money, obviously, but for a nice home-baked pecan pie. Or two
July 31st, 2007 at 9:47 am
It’s a shame that more people don’t show that politeness and class when dealing with others — that goes for both North and South.
July 31st, 2007 at 10:42 am
I can’t help but wonder where this older neighbor was raised and by whom. Regardless of how you were dressed, and whether or not she thought you were a hired hand, one would assume you have a mind of your own and that you are capable of speaking for yourself.
Your attorney sounds great.
July 31st, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Hmmm… I don’t think she wanted to hire you… I think she was getting more information on you… I’m assuming that she has seen you and your truck at the attorney’s house on many occasions… I think she was finding out more about you and the attorney… You know how Ladies of the South are… They like to be in the know…
July 31st, 2007 at 2:45 pm
She too is a product of her raising. Sometimes we need to put a foot in the mouth to realize our programming is faulty. What we do after determines whether we have class.
July 31st, 2007 at 7:13 pm
After an uncomfortable situation caused by one party’s hasty and very incorrect assumptions you all seem to have recovered nicely. Very classy.
I also enjoyed your one ‘big’ upmanship on your attorney. Literally.
August 1st, 2007 at 6:33 am
Master Tony “you’re definately have class of your own” man attorney sure showed Ms. Whatshername, that you’re no handy man…. old grouch she is hehehehe
August 1st, 2007 at 10:07 am
Funny you should mention “Mockingbird”, my first thought was of how many black men in the south have heard sentences similar to the one uttered by Mrs.______. I think the idea of southern “manners” is largely a myth. Class ofcourse is universal. Your attorney friend’s esteem has risen substantially in my book. Now you boys be careful about rubbing stuff in each others faces!
August 1st, 2007 at 11:37 am
You’ll only have to follow his lead to know where you stand. If he weren’t sure of where you fit in his life he might have offered your services to appease the neighbors.
BTW, if this northerner ever gets it rubbed in his face; i’ll definitely be expected that extra lemon.
August 1st, 2007 at 11:54 am
Tony, don’t think that I wouldn’t ask the attorney “Can I have him when you’re done with him?” too. I would have a totally different set of chores for you, though. Thanks again for another chuckle.
August 1st, 2007 at 11:56 am
Maybe she thought you were the Attorney’s RENT BOY. Maybe she has peered through her windows and caught glimpse of the trouser snake going down your leg. She may have wanted you as her on Billy Doll.
August 1st, 2007 at 12:18 pm
this story reminded me of the time my Mom was in front of her house, cleaning the windows
Some lady in a Cadillac pulled up and started talking to her about cleaning the windows, she was just starting to ask my mom what her rates were, when my mom pulled off her gloves and the lady noticed all of my mom’s rings… she said “O My Ggod, your not the hired help.”
My mom laughed and said ” Honey, I have trouble getting anyone to clean my windows too, if you ever find anyone, just come on back and give me their name”
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:38 pm
This story is AWESOME… I almost spit out my coffee.
Hmmm… Sounds like some interesting role play opportunities for you and the attorney.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:39 pm
I don’t even know what to say to this. The ‘educated’ thing is misguided b/c you don’t have a JD. You have one of the better written blogs out there. There is theme, if multiple, you connect them with style, wit and smarts.
Mrs. Kravitz would never see that. Not when you’re just wearing a wife-beater, b/c no one in their right mind could see anything but….
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:46 pm
I love you T. You always have a way with words. I’m glad he chose the polite route. So many folks these days prefer to be rude. Two wrongs never make a right and his choice of words and style does in fact show he has class.
And anyone who would make you feel lower than themselves is not worthy of your affections anyway. Sounds like you and the attorney are a good fit. (In more ways than one)
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Great story LT. I was beginning to wonder about southern manners as I’m stuck in Southern Virginia and haven’t seen much in evidence.
Can’t wait to get back home to Portland and rub something in my bf’s face.
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:44 am
Great story, I love the Harry Potter references. I would never have thought you a Potter fan.
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:17 am
Hmmm… I;m assuming you were wearing a wife-beater? Regardless, it’s funny, some people will see a hot guy doing “manual labor” work and think they are somehow above that guy. All I think is what life would be like with him. OK, at first I just think of sex, then the rest of it.
Really, it’s interesting how the lady treated you with no respect. You could have potentially been her new BF (if you swung that way). I mean hasn’t she seen Desperate Housewives?
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:54 pm
I am liking your attorney more and more. Well one classy man deserves another, and you’re a class act all the way.
August 4th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
I agree with Synrgy. She was being nosy and rude all at once. Guess she just really doesn’t care what the attorney thinks of her. Her Southern “Lady” status is questionable IMHO.
August 4th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
She wanted it plain and simple. Wanted to get you over to her place, take you around back to show you what “work” she needed done. Have you do the work while she eyed you from inside the house.
This is too easy. You say you were doing the driving and stayed with your truck while the attorney went around back. Right there you are implying you are the boss, and Tony with the big hang of yours, I know you are.
Can’t blame the lady for wanting to catch a peek, shit if I lived across the way I would have been over a lot sooner;)
August 6th, 2007 at 1:52 am
Oh LT…you naughty boy. Rubbing your dick in his face. You’re suppose to do that to me. LMAO!!! How have you been? Much happening at my end. Maybe a bit too much to all take in.
August 14th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
Oh trust me boys when I tell you, she was digging for dirt! Here is an unmarried 40 something, good looking attorney with a nice home, a nice new sports car and never a woman around. Then you have this older woman who sits home most of the day bored out of her skull and forever in other peoples business. She see’s this wife beater wearing tall thin guy poking around the attorneys home from time to time…. She was digging for dirt dont let her southern gentile fool ya…. They know how to get what they want and leaving you feeling like you had no “Real” idea what they wanted.