LARGETONY Blog

So, the Oscars were Sunday night…and I didn’t watch. A friend of mine said it was one of the most boring Oscars ever, so I’m glad i didn’t watch. I never find the Oscars all that interesting anyway, because I generally have never seen most of the movies nominated. And I don’t know much about evening gowns. I only watch if there is something of particular interest to me.

Last year, of course, there was Jake. And I watched the year before that because Chris Rock was the host and I think he’s the funniest black man alive next to Dave Chappelle. This year it was Ellen…hmmm….no so much into her. I know I’m supposed to be, with the gay thing and all. But, I’m not. But I do like Kathy Griffin. Does that make up for it?

I saw the winners list online yesterday, though. And I think I see a pattern developing. If an actor really wants to win an Oscar one day, he or she would be smart to turn down any script where they play a fictional character. This year, Forrest Whitaker won for playing real person Idi Amin andHelen Mirran won for play real royal Queen Elizabeth. Last year Philip Seymour Hoffman won by being Truman Capote and Reese Whitherspoon won by being June Carter Cash. And two years ago Jamie Foxx did it as Ray Charles. To win the Academy Award anymore, you have to play someone who actually lived (or have double letters somewhere in your name).

Not to put down anyone’s performance but if you’re playing a famous person, hasn’t that person already done half the work for you by existing? You don’t have to create a walk or a voice or anything. You just have to copy it. Not saying that is an easy thing to do…but doesn’t give you an advantage?

So, I’m sure there’s going to be a huge rash of movies about famous figures. I know there have been plenty in the past, but I have a feeling that with biographical movies being Oscar gold, we’re going to be drowning in everybody’s stories.

There’s only so many super-famous iconic type figures in the world, so Hollywood is going to run out of scripts fast and will end up churning out stories on the moderately famous (Rudy Guliani), then the tabloid famous (Anna Nicole Smith), then the not famous at all (you and me).

I have joke before that if there was ever a story of my life that actor Eric Balfour should play me becuase he’s like a Hollywood version (read: more attractive) version of me. But I think that by the time Hollywood gets down to my biopic, they will have run out of actors (good ones, anyway) and my story will be told with CGI or animation…or at the very least, Muppets.

Which is cool because I like the Muppets. And just as Eric Balfour is the Hollywood version of me, Sam the Eagle is my Muppet doppleganger (I love that word!).

Look at the picture, then look at my header. The long face; the beak; the overbite; the tired eyes. Not far off the mark. I just wonder who Beaker will play.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 27th, 2007 at 1:33 am and is filed under observations, topical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.