One Plus One
I’m sort of cheating on my Monday mailbox post again. But I got one question that might be more appropriate for Valentine’s Day. I was asked about my dream/ideal relationship with a man. It’s interesting that the both dream and ideal were used in the question because they are different things for me. Dreams are things that are nice to experience but are never real.
Maybe it’s the romantic in me, but I believe ideals can be real. The trick is just finding each other. It’s a matter of the right convergence of time, place, and space.
Some people are lucky and find it young. My grandparents were that way. They were married for sixty one years. If he was still alive today, they would be just a few mile markers from exit seventy. Other people find it much later. But they get the joy of experiencing at least somewhat ideals along the way.
And there are those who find their dream, only to find out it isn’t ideal. Like my mother. From what I understand and can piece together from stories and memories, my father was my mother’s dream (and my grandparents nightmare). My father was considered to be quite a charming and sexy man and women were just nuts about him. Lke a lot of women who knew him, my mother dreamed of him settling down and her bearing his babies.
Her dream came true and I think for a while it was ideal. I have to say that for as much I’ve heard that my father was a wolf, I have never heard that once he was married he ever strayed. Still, I don’t think he was really ready to settle down, least of all ready for fatherhood. It wasn’t his dream or his ideal. And eventually what had been a youthful cavalier attitude toward drinking became full on alcoholism. Not ideal for any of us.
My dream, of course is young Mr. G. A dream because I know it will never happen. And in reality, I doubt it would be ideal. Because as down-to-earth as he may seem , he is still a celebrity. And the things that come with being a celebrity…or a celebrity’s mate…are not for me. Not ideal.
Simple would be my ideal:
Our relationship would be something that is just between us. Nothing we would hide, but nothing that we have to broadcast either. He would be a good, decent, fair person who isn’t afraid of making a joke that may not be PC once in a while. He works hard all week and plays harder with me on the weekends (and maybe in the middle of the night when i can’t sleep). We shower together after work because we both need to get clean and cause can’t wait to hold each other. He’ll let me do the cooking and I’ll let him do the laundry, because that’s the way we both prefer it. He’s smart enough that I can learn things from him, but he’s not bothered by the fact that I’m not as smart as him. Even if he hates football, he still loves that I love it. He knows I don’t need flowers and candy, but knows I need to hear him breathe.
We’re the missing factors in each other’s equations.
Too bad I was never very good at math.
Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:31 am
I love doing laundry
February 14th, 2007 at 10:44 am
That’s perfect, Tony. Simplicity is always best. This is my ideal too.
February 14th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Country guys make the best simple-living ideal partners.
February 14th, 2007 at 11:05 am
Excellent! Many don’t always distinguish between dreams and ideals. A simple, uncomplicated relationship where there is love and support without condition? Who says you’re not smart?!?
February 14th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Oh that I could make your dream come true.
The world needs such happiness.
February 14th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
“…but knows I need to hear him breathe.” That phrase says more to me than you can possibly imagine.
Laundry? Can’t we have help?
February 14th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
mine too! i dont need a lot. a simple guy is all i need.
enjoy the day! happy valentines day!
February 14th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Your beautifully worded ideal points out that we do not need to over-complicate things with materialism, and egoism……ahhh..that there was a gentle person like you here in eastern Pa!
February 14th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
You’re so simple. It’s quite nice. I don’t mean simple as in “silly” either. Couldn’t I cook sometime, though? I think doing laundry is therapeutic for me, so it’s good that I do it…Oops. I’m sorry. I’m projecting there.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, or as it is again for me this year - Single Awareness Day.
February 15th, 2007 at 12:20 am
Tony, I truly enjoy your blog. I think the most profound and honest statement for me in this blog is “He knows I don’t need flowers and candy, but knows I need to hear him breathe.” I can’t think of how many times I have literally laid next to a guy in bed and just enjoyed the sound of hearing him breathe. Strangely, although he was asleep it gave me a strange sense of security. Hmmm….. Those were the days. Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day. Also, I noticed that you found me on another site.
February 15th, 2007 at 1:02 am
Have you ever seen the movie… Only You! Robert Downey Jr. and Marisa Tomei. Now you’re talking a romantic here myself. I love that movie, I love the soundstrack, and I love its message. You can dream to the hilt about your one ‘destiny’ (the special person in your life) but sometimes the person you have been dreaming about has been in front of you all along. If you haven’t seen it…rent it.
HapPy Valentine’s Day LT. HUGS!!!!
February 15th, 2007 at 5:37 am
Lovely. That was lovely.
February 15th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Happy Valentine’s Day Tony!
February 15th, 2007 at 9:59 am
my man.. all of this rings so damn familiar.. and brings on a little tear in my eye.. what a great way to wake up to the day after valentines day.. i would be willing to bet that man exists and that ideal is not too far from reality..
February 15th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
I could fawn over your pictures, your cock, your witicism, your photography, your love of sports- including Manning, your dedication to granny, your simplicity… there are a few more but I think my point has been made. You are far from simple. You are one hell of a man. You are almost like Oprah, only tall, white, a little less financially secure and one can only estimate, far more endowed- you inspire me, Tony.
February 16th, 2007 at 9:58 am
michaelo called you oprah
February 16th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
You know, I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was 11. I never let anyone else do it…I can’t even drop it off at a laundry place because it means other people will be touching it. I don’t mind doing other people’s laundry, though. That way I know it’ll be done RIGHT.
However, I hate…HATE…doing dishes.
Let’s get married.
February 16th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Oh, and I’ll bear as many babies as you want. All you have to do is try to get me pregnant. Often. Like, several times a day. Whenever you want. In any position you want. Just so long as none of my bones crack or anything.
February 17th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
look at all these people throwing themselves at you.. you are such a stud..
February 17th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Tank, move your ass out of the way. I’m throwing myself at Tony and I don’t want to knock you over. MOVE, BOY!
February 18th, 2007 at 9:50 am
I love when you post entries like these. I moved my site over here to wordpress. Hope your doing great sexy man!
February 22nd, 2007 at 8:25 pm
OH MY GAWD! you’re Oprah? what?
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Missing factor in the equation. Oh. That is romantic. Sigh.
February 24th, 2007 at 2:55 am
What you describe is what I’ve had. So many of my friends are looking for Mr. Right to have a list of attributes. You got it right, though the man for you may end up looking somewhat short of the Jake G. ideal. I love doing laundry, and even ironing shirts…okay, maybe the first four or so.
February 24th, 2007 at 5:03 am
You looking to get out to SF in late June for Pride and the bloggers’ get together? Hope so. Hope all is well.