Hump Day, Epilogue
You know, it’s always easiest to find something when you’re not looking for it: your keys, the remote control, the other sock. Gentlemen and a few ladies (biological and otherwise), let me introduce you to the other sock.
I spent a year looking for the perfect Hump Day guy and, lo and behold, just as soon as I retired the feature I stumbled across this guy on Kenneth in the 212 the other day. Or maybe I should say came across him. Literally. A few times. And will again. Several times. In fact, I may be doing it right now.
This might be something for the TMI folder, but it wouldn’t be the first time a sock got me off. Many a time in my younger days, I’d slip a tube sock onto the best part of me like a cotton blend condom and wank it. It was really sort of perfect: good friction, practically self-cleaning, and easy to hide the evidence and not raise suspicion. I mean, what teenage boy doesn’t have a few crusty gym socks laying around? Hmmm…I wonder if that’s why so many teenage boys have crusty gym socks laying around.
With this guy around I would be leaving a crust on or in anything that’s absorbant.
I still hold to the belief that I can find many types of guys attractive, but man does this one stand out in a crowd. And it’s him in particular. I’ve seen pictures of many guys with beautiful icy blue eyes; big (but not too big) shapely pecs capping an long, lean, athletic torso that’s dusted with silky hair; and a chin and jaw line where it’s always five o’clock. But it’s the way it all adds up on him. Definitely a sum of the parts. And I want sum.
Sure, he looks a little cock-eyed in this picture and it would be nice if the lips were a little more plump. But, who’s going to fault a guy who has an eye for cock? And if they really are crossed, it’s only because I humped him until they got that way. But it’s easy to uncross them. Just more of the same. A little hair of the dog, so to speak. And the lips…well, they’ll be plenty plump after long sessions of deep, rough kissing. If i can hump for hours, I can kiss for days weeks.
We’ll hump and kiss and tumble like two socks in the dryer. I just have to be careful that Jake doesn’t find out.
JAKE: Who’s sock is this?
ME: Ummm…Mine?
JAKE: You don’t wear this kind of sock.
ME: I do now.
NOTE: As always, click the pic to see the full effect
January 10th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I really like his Davids.
January 10th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
i’ve seen that guy around. comes into the eagle. i saw him last in november i think. seems sweet - he smiles at everyone.
January 10th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Ha! I used to pull the same sock trick when I lived home as a teen. Always worked great….but man I went through a lot of socks in a week.
January 10th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Must be an American thing, the sock fetish. I don’t get it - a slick, warm hand, or a dry cotton sock? Easy choice…
January 10th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
PS: Did you see DreamGirls yet? Can’t wait until it comes to these shores…
January 10th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
He suuuuure don’t look like a bottom to meee… =P
January 10th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Great post. Even greater final choice. No matter what their origin, Latins are one of my favorite flavors.
Uncrossing eyes? You must be a superstar!
January 10th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I dated a sock once, but I had to sever our relationship. He got too clingy. Get it?
January 10th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Love the entry. I must say however, after looking through your humps of the day and reading your blog, the title of Hump of the Year has to go to you. You’re definitely sexy, and especially after the David Sedaris episode we all know you’re smart. All that and brains too…Definitely a winner.
January 10th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
You can hump for hours? Really? Kiss for days? Really? That seems awfully robotic and lacking of fresh condoms and mouthwash.
Rough kissing Tony? You animal you!
I REALLY don’t think you’re done with Hump Days. I think you were pulling our…legs. So far this year you’ve delved into your beastiality and now you’re getting into your infidelity with Jake. Poor Jake. Come here. Jay will hug you.
January 10th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Ohhh, you know Jake would wanna join ya in yer wanking LT, sock or no sock
January 11th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Definitely the hottest of your hump day hunks. I’d wash his socks. And dry them. And fold them. And help him take them off. Yep. I would.
January 11th, 2007 at 5:40 am
Do you think he’s cross-eyed or actually, in fact, blind?
Blind would be good.
I could be Lionel Ritchie and he could be that sculptor girl
“Hello! Is it me you’re looking for?”
I’d poison his guide dog and throw away his stick.
January 11th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Mrrrworowrowr!
January 11th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
He’s no Latin … Daniel’s I-talian.
January 11th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
As always, never a dull or dry moment. And that’s what I call a “persuasive argument”!
January 21st, 2007 at 3:23 pm
SOX
IT WORKS!!
FEELS TOO GOOD!!! LT SAVE ME ONE OF YOURS!!!