LARGETONY Blog

By now Thanksgiving is about over. For those of you who are Americans anyway.

It dawned on me today that for most of the world, this was just another Thursday. I know some other countries have their own Thanksgiving holidays, but they are at other times of the year. And I have a feeling that nobody else in the world does Thanksgiving like we do here in the U.S.

Thanksgiving is the most American of all American holidays. Including the Independence Day. That’s because Thanksgiving is all about consumption. And nobody can sit on their asses and stuff their faces better than us. (Except maybe that Asian hot-dog eating champion.)

I know some of you are thinking that Christmas trumps Thanksgiving in terms of consumption. But not really. Christmas is about what you’re getting. Oh, sure, you can quote the Bible and “A Charlie Brown Christmas” all you want, but you all know that Christmas is getting less and less about the newborn king every year.

Besides, when it comes to being materialistic, Americans may be some of the most guilty, but hardly own the title. But when it comes to eating, give us the crown and the sash and watch our dimpled thighs strut all the way down the runway and back. And don’t even bother naming a runner-up. There’s not a turkey’s chance in gravy that we won’t fulfill the obligations.

I know Christmas features a big meal, too. But the most popular question from others around the holiday is “What did you get?” Take away the meal, you still got presents. At Halloween it’s “What are dressing up as?” Take away the candy, you still got costumes. On the Fourth of July it’s “How did you lose them fingers?” Take away the grill, you still got fireworks.

But on Thanksgiving, the big question “Where are you having dinner?” Take away the meal and…well, it’s just another Thursday.

The meal is the holiday. The holiday is the meal. After all, Thanksgiving was created as a celebration of thanks to God for a bountiful harvest. I just don’t imagine that the pilgrims foresaw a tradition of eating yourself in to a coma. (Not to mention freakishly huge blow-up mooses floating down the streets of New York.) Nor did our forefathers when it became a national holiday. If they had had any idea, instead of Stars-n-Stripes, Betsy Ross probably would have sewn up a flag of Chicken-n-Dumplings.

But I’ll admit, I’m just as American as the next guy. I had my big plate full of turkey, corn, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and rolls (Lordy, it’s wonder that stock doesn’t go up on Ex-Lax around this time a year from all that starch.) and washed it down with a big glass of gravy. In fact I’m sitting here right now enjoying my favorite part of Thanksgiving: a late-night turkey sandwich with Miracle Whip (never mayonnaise on a turkey sandwich). I guess in the honor of the day I need to give thanks for having a fast metabolism. I can stuff myself and never really get fat. (For a gay man that’s better than being rich).

I figure though, in this age of Super Size-ing, even the excessive amount of food served on Thanksgiving will eventually become run-of-the mill portions. Then it will be just another Thursday for Americans, too. Hell…just another day.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 23rd, 2006 at 10:05 pm and is filed under holiday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.