Eliminating Brown Eye
One of the side effects of operating a website and a blog is that readers/visitors sometimes send me pictures of themselves (or pictures of parts of themselves).
Generally, when there’s a face visible, it’s a “just so you know who’s writing you” sort of thing. When it’s just parts, I think they tend to have something more in mind. Especially when it’s a picture of their butthole. Not the butt. The hole. The ol’ brown eye itself.
I’m amazed at the number of people who have pictures of their own swollen, puckered sphincters (although not nearly as amazed as I am at the number of them that also seem to be wearing lip gloss…the sphincters, I mean). How do you focus a camera when you’re squatting over it? (I just hope they think ahead and avoid Olestra before hand. Especially if it’s a borrowed camera.)
I guess you can get someone else to take the picture. But who? You can’t ask your lover. I mean, if he hasn’t already requested a wallet-sized of for his own, how are you gonna explain it? And you’re not going to get down on all fours at Olan Mills or in the portrait studio at the back of Sears. So, I guess you ask a friend. But, how do you bring up the subject of bagging a snapshot of your man-vag to a friend?
“Let’s rent a Meg Ryan movie, pop some popcorn and stay up all night talking about boys and taking pictures of our snooches, okay?”
Now, I’m definitely a guy. So I like pictures. And I’m definitely a top guy. So, I like pictures of butts. With the explosion of technology (digital camera, cell phones, etc) people are more and more tempted to show off anything to get a man’s attention, I guess. But, you know it’s only a matter of time before horny bottoms start posting footage of their colonoscopies on YouTube.
You know how they say children are meant to be seen and not heard? Well, you winker is different. As much as you’d like to show it off to friends and sign it up for team sports, your winker ain’t your child. It isn’t meant to be seen. It’s meant to be felt…el and sometimes even heard (put the sticky side of two Post-It notes together, then slowly pull them apart and you’ll know what I mean).
They make cameras now that automatically eliminate red-eye. Maybe before long somebody will come up with one that eliminates the brown-eye, too.
November 10th, 2006 at 3:32 am
Lordy…what in the world inspired you on this post LT. Did we receive a bit too much eye-candy or sweetness via email recently? LMAO. funny post.
November 10th, 2006 at 3:43 am
lol, I laughed so hard my brown eye got bigger!
November 10th, 2006 at 3:57 am
LOL!!! My friends and I often talk about this unfortunate phenomenon. Don’t all BUTTHOLES look alike anyway?
November 10th, 2006 at 5:09 am
TMI……….IS ALL I CAN SAY
November 10th, 2006 at 6:21 am
I see quite a few guys on sites that do this sort of thing. Do they really think this is hot. Half the time I am eating and it’s not a pleasant sight to see. “I’M EAT HERE”.
I don’t think these pics are flattering and I have to question the level of self-respect.
November 10th, 2006 at 8:33 am
I was actually disappointed that they couldn’t give me a videotape of my colonoscopy!
November 10th, 2006 at 10:13 am
If one thinks that is one’s most attractive feature that is just plain old sad. Lordy! What is the world coming to?
November 10th, 2006 at 10:30 am
Well there goes my Kodak moment!
And, all I wanted was just 15 minutes of fame.
November 10th, 2006 at 10:30 am
You crack me up! No pun intended.
November 10th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
those pictures scare me
November 10th, 2006 at 4:15 pm
Manginas on display? Now I can say I’ve heard everything!
November 10th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
“And don’t it make your brown eyes blue” …
I just spat coffee on my keyboard. I will never walk by a Sears Portrait studio again without thinking of that image!
November 10th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
“And you’re not going to get down on all fours at Olan Mills or in the portrait studio at the back of Sears.”
….oh….speak for yourself! : )
November 10th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
Yeah I don’t get the whole “spread ‘em” photo shoot. Just like some penises are not pretty, most clefts aren’t either.
November 11th, 2006 at 12:43 am
This had me rolling, but I can feel your annoyance with it. That’s sad that that’s the best feature someone has. YOU ARE MORE THAN WHAT’S BETWEEN (and behind) YOUR LEGS, MEN (and women)!
November 12th, 2006 at 5:57 am
Now I guess you’re gonna start keeping a camera handy at work.
November 12th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Amen.
The anal sphinctor works well with a penis. A tongue is much less welcome. ( I know many will disagree with that).
Why do most porno movies feature a scene of analingus? This gross and unsafe practice should be left to the privacy of those foolish enough to do it.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:10 am
Gives a whole new meaning to checking your mail-box…
Am I quaint in being somewhat shocked?
November 14th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
I agree completely with this post, while I am certainly not offended by seeing this in person *wink* I see no point in taking a close up picture of it. Maybe at a distance where the whole body is kind of visible, but anything closer than that is borderline offensive.
November 15th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
I read this over at Best Gay Blogs and just had to tell you that I thought it was hilarious. Thanks for the great laugh!
November 19th, 2006 at 11:48 am
What? No comments on anal bleaching?
It’s so “in” at the moment.
November 19th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
I think some of the high-end SLRs have built-in browneye elimination.
I’m a versatile top, and I love being in that part of my man, but I never saw the point of people who share such pictures! Is that really supposed to be a turn-on?
November 22nd, 2006 at 1:50 am
Hey Tony, this was SO FUCKING FUNNY! I rofl when I read this one. mmmmkay, I’m trying not to keep laughing. It is so true, so many guys post pics of there brown eyes.