LARGETONY Blog

One of the great debates of the last century has been the one over the point at which life begins. Does life begin at the moment of conception? Does it begin once the fetus reaches a certain stage? Or does it begin at the moment of birth? Though most people won’t admit it, the answer often depends on where you stand in the particular situation. The more you are outside of it, the more black or white your opinion. Like a storm cloud, the deeper you get, the grayer things become.

I’ve discovered that porn is the same way. At what point does porn begin? Is it the moment that a rigid pecker, swollen sphincter, or unfurled labia is captured on film or video so that someone else can see? Is it once the image is published or distributed? Or is it the moment that pecker, labia, and sphincter…or some combination of (not to mention a whole mess of other potential parts)…entwine for an audience?

One man’s (or woman’s) porn is another man’s erotica. One man’s erotica is another man’s Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.

So, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to find I’m thought of as somebody’s porn star.
But it did.

Yeah, I know that from the other side of my website, most of the free world has taken a peak (or a good hard stare, in some cases) at my junk. But, I never really ever thought of it as porn. To me, it would have to involve another person. Or at the very least a gerbil wrapped in duct tape (you know that joke? I’ll tell it in another post one day.) But, it’s just plain ol’ pictures of plain ol’ me…naked.

I’ve never even thought of it as erotica. It’s just hard to think of yourself in those terms. Who can go through life knowing all the un-sexy things about themselves like picking their own boogers and the smell of their own bad breath in the mornings, and still be able to attach the label “erotic?” I can’t.

But it turns out that I have been officially labeled “Porn Star.” Somehow somebody somewhere nominated this blog for a “Gaybloggies” Award. I had never heard of the “Gaybloggies.” But I got a handful of e-mails today from people who told me they had voted for me (for the blog, actually. But I guess a vote for the blog is a vote for me.) So, I went to check it out and there I was. My category?….Porn Star.

I laughed my ass off for a minute or two. Then I thought, “Wait a minute…Porn star? I’m not a porn star.” (If anything I’m still in my first trimester.) But then, I definitely don’t fit into some of the other categories like “Best Diva,” “Best Body,” or “Best Smile.

So, I thought about that gray area and realized that to some people I guess I am a porn star. Probably the funniest thing about this is that the other nominees in the category really ARE porn stars. Guys who really make porno films. I mean, how the hell did I get a nomination? (There is probably some bigger-dicked actual porn star blogger who didn’t get a nomination asking the same question.)

About a year ago, I was nominated for some other blogging award. I don’t remember which, but I never made mention of it because I felt like it would look like I was fishing for votes.

But this time around is different. First off, Sue already mentioned it in the last post’s comments. So, it’s not like I”m bringing it up. Second, if somebody thought enough to submit my blog for a nomination and it actually made the cut to a final five (or for all I know it may have been the only five…yeah, that’s probably how I got in) then why not let my friends/readers know? The way I see it, you all share in it with your comments and e-mails (not to mention return visits).

And third, even though I don’t have a whore’s chance in church of winning, if I’m going to be labeled a Porn Star anyway, then I might as well own it. I’m knocked up and choose to keep it.

I promise you this will be my only mention of the contest. I won’t bombard you with daily reminders to vote, or go on some big campaign. If you want to vote then click on the button at the end of the post. If not, then don’t. Think of it as a vote for the common man, the little guy. Make the big professional cocks earn their win.

And before I forget. Some others on my blog roll got some nominations too. So also cast your votes for Proceed At Your Own Risk, Trunkguy, Magmozine, Bedtime Stories, and Towleroad (who in practically every category.) They deserve it.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 3rd, 2006 at 4:42 am and is filed under blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.