LARGETONY Blog

I get asked a lot what kind of guys I like. I never have a good answer to that question because I really don’t have a type. I like all kinds of guys. I don’t have preferences according to height, weight, hair color, race, any of that stuff. It really just depends on the guy. So I’m starting this little experiment. Since Wednesday is “Hump Day,” once a week I’ll post a picture of a guy that, given the opportunity, I would definitely hump. By the end of the year, I’ll see if there is a pattern that defines my “type.” This, of course, is done all in the name of science. NOTE: For more thorough research, click on the image.

You know how sometimes you become attracted to someone because they have qualities that you would like to have yourself? That’s my thing with this guy.

Now, for all I know, he could be dumb as a fence post and about as interesting as watching the moss grow on it. So, I’m not going to be rubbing one off from coveting his personailty or brains. But the body…well, I don’t just want to play with his, but I want one of my own for him to play with.

We’re pretty similar as far as limbs go, but the torso is what is separating the man from the wannabe. Sure, I have a small waist and a flat stomach…but, the six-pak? If I tense hard, maybe I can produce three and a third. But I want to walk around like that relaxed.

The main thing, of course, is the chest. It’s pretty near perfect in my book. Got some good thickness that will fill up a t-shirt (or my big ol’ hands) nicely, but not so meaty that it feels like you’re molesting a couple of thick cut ribeyes. I’m just not genetically predisposed to having pecs. So, I guess I need a guy like this, who has enough for both of us.

Speaking of chest…what the hell is that on his? Is it a bad tattoo? Mud? Seaweed? Good thing I brought some bleach along, buddy. You’ll have to help me with the dispenser, though. Sometimes it takes a couple of hands to work the bleach out. Maybe you could get it started with your mouth. Like you’re siphoning from a hose. Yeah…that’s it. Like that. I think you’ve got it coming now. Careful…it stings when bleach gets in your eyes. (Isn’t that a song?) Ooops. I tried to just hit your chest. You know these nozzles. If you’re not careful with the controls, they just spray everywhere. I’ll just spread it around…It probably won’t hurt anything.

Previous Hump Day Guys

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 20th, 2006 at 1:28 am and is filed under hump day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.