LARGETONY Blog

I get asked a lot what kind of guys I like. I never have a good answer to that question because I really don’t have a type. I like all kinds of guys. I don’t have preferences according to height, weight, hair color, race, any of that stuff. It really just depends on the guy. So I’m starting this little experiment. Since Wednesday is “Hump Day,” once a week I’ll post a picture of a guy that, given the opportunity, I would definitely hump. By the end of the year, I’ll see if there is a pattern that defines my “type.” This, of course, is done all in the name of science. NOTE: For more thorough research, click on the image.

Why would I hump thee? Let me count the ways…

• First off this guy reminds me of the guys who played the older brother on the TV show “Wings.” He always gave me a bit of a chub back in high school. Especially to be an “old guy.” But, you know, when you’re under 20 anybody over 25 is an old guy.
• He also reminds me a little of Nick Lachey, who gives me a chub now that he is an “old guy.” (This guys is sort of like if the guy from “Wings” and Nick Lachey had a love child…hmmm, there’s an image…) I never thought all that much of Nick when he was in 98 Degrees. He didn’t grow into his sort of man-hotness until after Jessica dumped him. That is one stupid bitch. I mean, we all knew she was stupid. But she’s an out and out fool to let toss him out of bed. Only reason I would toss Nick Lachey out of bed is so that we could do it on floor. Have you seen the commercial he’s got where his clicking off numbers on this little counter everytime somebody checks him out? I’d make Nick Lachey click off numbers for every stroke. Just hope he doesn’t develop carpal tunnel. Actually, I guess you can’t really get that in your thumb. But you get my point.
• I like that this guy is just in plain old white boxers. Makes him look like a prison bitch. Okay, Esquire magazine’s version of a prison bitch. But that doesn’t make him any less humpable in exchange for a carton of smokes. And I don’t even smoke.
• Trend wise, it’s another Hump Day guy in bed. Which is kind of interesting given that I would much rather bang the shit out of a hottie some place else. Beds are for recuperation afterwards.
• I keep looking at that picture and fantasizing about dunking my junk in the mug in his hand before I dunk it in his other mug. Sort of like a big fat fleshy biscotti.  Biscocki, perhaps.

How would I hump thee? Let me count the ways…Where’s that damned clicker?

DON’T FORGET: Polls close tonight in the Logo Interpretation Contest. You have until 11:59 PM Pacific Time. If you haven’t voted, do it now!

Be sure to stop in on Friday for the Second Anniversary Celebration and see who the winner is!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 at 7:20 pm and is filed under hump day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.