Flippity Floppity
I don’t like feet. Bare feet. Seeing bare feet. Particularly other people’s. I don’t like noise. Unecessary noise. Particularly other people’s. Therefore, I don’t like bare feet making noise. Mine or anybody else’s. That’s why I hate flip-flips and why I don’t wear them. And why I wish other people didn’t, either.
But they do. It looks like flip-flops have become the fashion rage of the last year or so. They are like blue jeans and gonads. Everybody’s got a pair. (Ok, girls don’t…but you get the point.) Seems like everywhere I go anymore I hear that repetitive “slap-thwack” of feet flopping across the floor, followed by the smacking flip of rubber against bare heels. I was in a Wendy’s the other day and a group of college guys came in…they were all from the same mold: shaggy hair, tight shell necklace, pec-filled t-shirt, sagging-ass pants down on their hips, and flips-flops. Actually a pretty cute bunch, but I could barely enjoy the view for the noise. There was so much flipping and flopping and slapping and clapping I kept looking around to see who was taking a bow.
And what are people doing wearing flip-flops into a restuarant. I’m sorry, but that is just nasty. What ever happened to “no-shirt, no shoes…no service?” If you are wearing flips flops, you are basically barefoot. You aren’t wearing shoes. You have mouse pads strapped to your feet. Mouse pads strapped to your big, sweaty, hairy toe-knuckled, corn-afflicted, crooked nailed, dry-heeled, stray toe hanging over the egde of the flip-flop feet. Mmmmmm. Enjoy your burger. If flips flops count as wearing shoes, then a beauty pageant sash should count as a shirt. Would you like fries with that Miss Paraguay?
If God had intended for us to display our feet, then he would have never created cows. Without cows, there’d be no shoes…and no Wendy’s for people to flip-flop their way into. But since there are Wendy’s, there are shoes. Think of all the leather that would be wasted after scooping the burgers and steaks out of cows. See, flips-flops are bad. A “no shoes - no service” policy is simply a part of making the most of our resources.
You have to remember, I’m from the South. So, I am no stranger to seeing trailer trash walking into a store with nothing more than yesterday’s dirt on their feet. I’m just saying that if you go into a place in flip-flops, don’t try to pretend you’re doing much better.
Don’t even try to pretend you’re wearing sandals. Sorry, but even the most revealing sandals cover more than 50% of your foot. A sandal is at least a cousin to the shoe. Everything has changed now that flips-flops aren’t flip-flops anymore. Now that they are fashionable, they are “thongs.” Way back when they were just called shower shoes, people wouldn’t think of wearing them outside a locker room. Then when they became flip-flops they were acceptable any place where bare feet were okay…the beach, the backyard, etc. But now that they are called “thongs” all bets are off.
I don’t understand how a name change makes it any more acceptable. You wouldn’t go into a grocery store in just a butt floss kind of thong. So, why would you go in foot floss?
I’m not saying don’t wear thongs. I’m just saying keep them where they belong…in public showers, on the boardwalk…and away from me.
June 10th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
I don’t much care for flip-flops either. Birkenstocks I wear, but that’s just a pair of uptown flip-flops so I suppose that makes me a hypocrite really. Excuse me while I change into my loafers.
June 11th, 2006 at 1:04 am
I hate flip-flops. They aren’t sexy. Oh and aren’t birkenstocks for lesbians….LOL
June 11th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Lol
OK, I wear sandals around the house if I need to go outside. I’d probably wear them outside the house too, save for the fact that it’s a bitch to drive in them. Flip-flops are a lot worse than sandals when it comes to keeping them on your feet so I tend not to wear them.
June 11th, 2006 at 2:48 pm
Breathe Tony Breathe! Although I do not wear flip-flops, I have been known to don a pair of LEATHER thongs. They are just so damned comfortable and cool on summer days. While I might frown on toe cleaveage at the Ritz, Wendy’s is different. Any restaurant with a drive-thru must be a bit more relaxed. Were you frightened by a foot as a child?
June 11th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Yeah, I don’t get the flip-flop rage. I honestly thought it was a white thing, but now my black friends are doing it (even the ones who really don’t associate with whites). My best friend has a really nice pair - heavy and sandal-appearing and all, but I just don’t get it. I just can’t stand the thought of the possibility of someone stepping on my foot in them and making me at the very least give a gas face before anything else (a swear, a hit, a push, etc.)
I like a nice foot that’s well-manicured and “shapely” and hair-free. I’ve seen some folks in flip-flops that should not ever expose their feet, though. Last weekend, in fact.
June 11th, 2006 at 8:16 pm
There is a blog entirely devoted to flip-flops. It is:
http://flipfloperotic.blogspot.com/
Of course they don’t show ugly feet in them. I also hate wearing them. They offer no support at all and are noisy.
BTW - Women’s gonads are ovaries. Free biology lesson!
June 12th, 2006 at 12:29 am
I hate when people wear them in public, they seem so nasty in a public place. But, having said that I wear them in my privacy of my toilet and around the house. It is so comfortable, and I can’t imagine wearing anything else. I wonder who invented them.
June 12th, 2006 at 12:49 am
Thank you!!
I just bought a pair for $6.99 at the Gap to wear in the shower at the gym. However, right before reading your post I did just wear them down the hall to throw out the trash and I thought “Damn these things are noisy.”
The college cuties you described probably looked OK - flip-flops are part of their uniform. A much less pleasing variation on that are the girls who wear them to work. Now that it’s warm here in Chicago, they’re everywhere, and that’s unfortunate. Do people think they look good?? They don’t. It totally ruins the look: pretty girl, nice dress - and trashy looking flip-flops.
Finally, if you have ugly toes - please don’t wear flip-flops!! I saw the ugliest toes in my elevator yesterday, and I really wish I hadn’t.
June 12th, 2006 at 5:48 am
Hurrah! Yet more bonkers over-the-garden-fence grumpy-tourettes up-the-medication home-for-the-bewildered ranting from everyone!
Splendid.
Flip-flops?! Don’t talk to me about bloody Flip-flops!!!
Round them all up and deport them to Flip-flop land!
No amnesty for Flip-flops or Flip-floppers!
Australians were the ones who originated ‘thongs’.
Such passion? Who’d have thought?
Genius!
June 12th, 2006 at 8:26 am
LOL, and I will leave it at that.
June 12th, 2006 at 9:40 am
I love Wendy’s.
June 12th, 2006 at 10:17 am
To my eternal shame, I’m one of the white trash flip-flop wearing crowd. Dare I say that I actually have several pairs. In my defense, I only wear them around the house, though …mostly. I also love being barefoot. I am required to wear heavy hiking boots at work, so the first thing I do when I finish work is put on sandles and let my feet breathe. Again call me trashy, but I think some guys look kinda hot in them
June 12th, 2006 at 11:30 am
I wear flip flops one place………….the shower room at the gym. I used towear them when I went to the beach, but I haven’t been there in years. I have to admit I have a pair of Birks and a pair of sport sandals. The Birks are soooooo comfy though.
I agree with Tony, I hate seeing people treat flops as if they are everyday wear.
Not approriate for work people!!
June 12th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
So i suppose you sucking my toes is *completely* out of the question………..
June 12th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
I agree 100%, Tony.
People wear flip flops to my restarant and I’m just like “Yuck”, but what bothers me the most is while they’re eating they kick them off and sit at the table barefoot.
I’d say 7 out of 10 people who come in wearing flip-flops do this. (A kind estimate, it’s probably more than that.)
You should NOT be barefoot in a restaurant!!!
GRRRR!
Flip-flops are for the beach, poolside, or lounging around the house or in your backyard.
June 12th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
I think I am with you on this (however I have been known to slip on my flip-flops to run to the store in a hurry). I saw a guy yesterday with green toenails…I about gagged.
June 13th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
When the Brazillian craze flooded North America, Havianas were all the rage.
But, we don’t live in Brazil.
Sandals with shorts works for the summer months (as long as the nails are clipped and the feet are moisturized) - just don’t use socks.
June 13th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
Oh pleeese a thong is something you wear to cover your bits below you know the ones that floss your ass when you walk.
As for flip flops, jandels we call them and yes I do have a pair, horrible to walk in bad for the feet , and hairy feeted people should wax like I do so much nicer to look at
June 13th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
Oh and Tony
Love your blog
Your really quite qute
June 14th, 2006 at 2:31 am
LT,
Looks like I am in the minority here. So shot me. HEHEHE! I love my flipflops and I survive in them about 80 percent of the year, yest that;s year. Guess its a SoCal thing and its been that way fro longer than a year. But you know, I was wearing them almost as much when I lived in the SF Bay Area. But hey LT, I think my feet might pass off as sexy. Hope all is well!
The other Tony
June 14th, 2006 at 4:54 am
Flip-flops are the lycra of the footwear world.
Like hands, some people have beautiful feet, they do!
I seem to have a pair of puffer-fish…
June 14th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
My BF loves flipflops sooooo much.. this is great. take a look at my new site. you might like it.
http://lesombresnyc.blogspot.com/
July 2nd, 2006 at 3:24 pm
Hear, hear! Flip flops are horrible. They have become part of a metrosexual uniform that all the clones are wearing these days. Don’t these people realize they have ugly feet? Shouldn’t exposing ugly feet in public be as serious a crime as robbery or murder? The sound of flip flops makes me cringe. I have eliminated men as dating possibilities because of their ugly feet. There otta be a law, I say. Whew. Thanks for the rant, Tony. I thought I was the only one.
Darcey. (what is the name for a foot phobia?)
July 4th, 2006 at 11:36 am
Places where flip-flops are acceptable footwear:
- The beach/pool/lake/any large body of water
- The dorm/gym shower
- Your boat
- Your home
Places where flip-flops are not acceptable footwear:
- Work
- The bar
- The club
- Any restaurant (I don’t care if it’s Mickey D’s or a four star gourmet restaurant, it’s wrong either way)
- The mall
- Any other public place not previously mentioned
I’m with you on the flip-flop hate. Thank goodness I live in New York, and I only have to deal with flip-flops for six months out of the year. Like Darcey I also have a foot phobia, and it is my belief that no one has nice feet and therefore all feet must be covered at all times. Plus, I refuse to believe that those things are comfortable, what with that stick that threatens to sever one’s big toe from the rest of one’s foot…
October 16th, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Jandels or as you call them “flip-Flops” which is an adopted name becasue of the sound they make are actally from New Zealand NOT Australia. Jandels are awesome everyone should own a pair so easy to slide on and off for the summer what else could you want, sandals are ugly and bulky and shoes are too hot.
October 16th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
Did You Realise That The Jandal Was Invented In New Zealand?
Jandals are the stripped down essence of footwear - essentially a thin rubber sole with two simple straps running in a Y from the sides of the foot to between the big toe and next toe. The design originated in New Zealand, inspired by the traditional woven soled ‘Japanese Sandals’ (hence ‘jandals’). Jandals (also known to the rest of the world as flip-flops or thongs) are a Kiwi icon. They are worn to the beach, to work, around town, everywhere!
July 24th, 2007 at 4:09 am
Hey, your face is ugly, but I don’t complain about it. I hate flip-flops too -I go barefoot everywhere, all the time. Me and the majority of people on the planet. If feet are foul, its probably because they’ve been cooped up in fungus inducing shoes all their lives. Shoes are evil . . .
July 24th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Flip flops are horrible shoes. I only wear them when ignorant store and restaurant employees think it is unacceptable to enter their businesses barefoot. There are no laws or “health codes” requiring shoes. You think feet are ugly? How about those hairy arm pits? Whew! You really have no room to talk.
July 24th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Next time you go to a podiatrist, ask him about the shape of your feet and how shoes have altered them. You might be suprised. Likewise, when you see a person in flipflops and think about the dirt on their feet, as yourself the question: :When was the last time I washed my shoes. On a one to one, a petri dish and a sample from the flip wearer or barefooter would contain less bacteria than your shoes. Think about it — how often do you wash your shoes. As a barefoot, I wash my feet several times daily/
July 24th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Do you go out in public wearing that undershirt? With that stinky armpit hair showing?
Not that I give a sh*t, but since you’re trumpeting your irrational foot phobia along with your judgmental attitude, I can say that I think men who wear shirts like you’re wearing are “just nasty.” Not that I *really* think that, because I am still capable of critical thinking and understand that you are either more comfortable that way or just like showing off your hairy underarms. Whatever. When it comes to feet, though, you sound like you might have deeper issues. That’s your problem, but don’t try to force your narrow-minded ignorance and prejudice on others who are more intelligent than you when it comes to giving their bare feet air, light and exercise.
July 26th, 2007 at 12:45 am
I read your blog about flip flops and I agree they do make noise but I dont think that just because someone doesnt like seeing feet or doesnt like hearing flip flops make that smacking sound or doesnt like seeing people wear them in Wendy’s means that everyone should have to wear shoes just so that person isnt offended. I mean if you dont like flip flops wear shoes but its really not appropriate to try to tell other people what they do with their feet. If you dont like what you see look the other way if you dont like what you hear then just ignore it. I see and hear lots of things I dont like but I dont pressure people to stop what theyre doing so why not just leave people alone and get a life. I wear flip flops everywhere and I love em and thats not going to change just because u dont like feet or that smacking sound flips make. have a nice day.