Reboot
You know how your computer gets all slow and sluggish, and doesn’t want to do anything. It’s just filled with all kinds of junk and just can’t seem to process anything. (I hear that Mac users don’t know about what I’m talking about, so if you are a Mac user, you just have to imagine.) It becomes so worthless that you want to just throw it in the trash.
That’s been me for the last couple of months (or more).
But if you take the time to maybe defragment the hard drive and reboot, you might find yourself back up to speed. So that’s what I have decided to do. I’m going to reboot. Not my computer. Me. I need a reboot. Or at least I need a big boot to the ass. I wear fourteens, so it may as well be my own boot to my own ass.
Several of you have expressed real concern for me lately. And I appreciate that you have. But, I realized that if I wasn’t careful, I just might start wallowing in the pity like a cold pig in warm mud (or is it a hot pig in cool mud?).Early in the life of this blog, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t use it to unload my troubles on the people who read it. I mean, you all have your own problems and troubles in your own lives. You don’t need mine, too. And I’m sorry for making you folks suffer through it.
By the tone of some of the e-mails I got, I think some people thought I might be getting suicidal. Let me assure you that while there may be things about myself that I don’t like, I still like myself way too much to ever get rid of myself. I’ve been through my share of shit in life. More than some people, not as much as others…but enough to know that I can probably beat whatever comes along. Plus, many of you know there’s somebody who needs me around. I not going to make her life more difficult by taking the easy way out.
So, that’s it. I’ve put it all behind me. I have defragged and am whole again. Time to reboot and be myself again.
June 2nd, 2006 at 3:04 am
I’m always looking at life the way that there’s no way of telling what’s just behind the corner… and I’m suffering from too much curiosity to miss all that fun!
And I bet you just need someone who knows their computers
June 2nd, 2006 at 5:05 am
Good for you, big boy. I have to do this daily. My recovery program in AA gives me that opportunity. If I don’t reboot daily, I’ll go back to drinking before long and that will be suicide for this guy.
hmmmmmmm… I like that analogy. thanks.
June 2nd, 2006 at 7:55 am
Good for you Tony. Like all of us, you have many reasons to want to see tomorrow and make the best of it. I’m sure you have what it takes to get through just remember the people who care about you will worry and want to help if they can.
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:49 am
I reboot every day (both my computer and me). If I forget, I get really down very quickly. When things are really bad, I use yoga or meditation to help with the process. I agree with paxed, you just need to meet someone cute with computer experience to help fix the problem.
June 2nd, 2006 at 9:21 am
We’re all entitled to our ‘down’ days…they allow you to see the good in the ‘good’ days. Rest assured, tho, that you’re a lucky guy…you have a huge following (a lot of things about you are huge!) who all seem to take in interest in your well being. And you’re a good guy! Period…
June 2nd, 2006 at 10:23 am
Oh yah Tony….
Trust me I have had my down days, and on a few I have sunken LOW! But the real friends, always managed to be there and pull me out in those situations. Otherwise we have to be ready to help our ownselves. Keep the positive spirit moving forward. Have a great weekend. T.
June 2nd, 2006 at 1:54 pm
I’m glad you’re choosing to get better. I hope your heart catches up with your decision if it isn’t there yet. And dude, if some of us are asking what’s going on and offering help, there’s no need to apologize or feel that you’re burdening us. Also, it’s a hot pig in cool mud. I’m not even from the South (well, technically Maryland is a Southern state, but we didn’t have pigs where I’m from in the state) and I’m amazed that I know that.
Size 14s? Whoa! (Joey Lawrence’s voice)
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:34 pm
Wonderful news. Oh no you din’t say size 14 boots? Where do you find your Prada’s? Seriously though, you can write about whatever you want. People will not feel you are dumping your problems on them, they’ll see how truly human you are. Welcome Back.
June 3rd, 2006 at 1:26 am
Yay!
A reboot is always good now and again.
Glad to see you’re back on track — even if you haven’t responded to my emails.
And it’s not “dumping your problems” if it’s someone who cares. I would rather my friends tell me their troubles so maybe I can do something to help rather than “suffer in silence” thinking they’r esparing me from a burdon”. It’s not aq burdon, and I will wecome any opportunity to lend assistance, even if it’s just an ear to listen.
Do what you do as only you can do it, Tony.
And don’t be a stranger, OK?
June 3rd, 2006 at 1:55 am
Hey buddy,
It’s ok. We all need to “reboot” now and then. And it usually happens after something emotionally-taxing occurs. I’m sure you’ll be back to yourself in no time, and of course in the mean time, you always have me and the rest of the guys to lean on. After all, you’ve been there for me a few times when I was going through rough times so allow me to repay the favor… :).
As far as computer reboots are concerned… trust me, I’d LOVE to get a Mac.. the only thing that keeps me from it is that…shhh.. alot of the porn sites I like don’t have Mac support because Mac can’t run Windows Media Player 11 with DMR… so I’m shit out of luck. Hah! That’s what happens when you’re single on an island in the middle of nowhere… hehe. See? Life can’t be that bad can it?
June 3rd, 2006 at 2:03 pm
Congrats on the Reboot. May if you try reinstalling your operating system - just kidding. Good luck guy. We are all huge fans of yours and are here for you if you ever want to bitch and moan.
June 4th, 2006 at 2:18 am
Hope your defragmentinga nd rebooting works wonders
Just don’t log off on us.
Paul
June 4th, 2006 at 10:53 am
hey man -
keep your chin up, whatever’s happening will pass i’m sure. i’ll leave with one of my fav quotes (for when i get down)….: “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” -George Bernard Shaw
peace. kyle
June 4th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
I know where you are coming from - after a week at work its not just a reboot i need, its a shutdown! - im talking a 10 hour sleep!
June 4th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Ya know, sometimes blogging about your troubles helps you see them better…well it works for me anyway. Sorry to hear you are blue T. Without minimalizing your feelings, I think we all go thru those sort of feelings. You have a lot goin for you and people who love you in your life. And if that’s not enough, you have all us crazy fuckers rootin for ya! *G*
*bear hug*
June 4th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Tony,
It’s rare for me to add a comment to a blog, but I want you to know that I’ve read your blog for the past year or so and have enjoyed it and been delighted by many of your postings.
You’re right, we all have problems, but here’s the deal - when you write about them you’re expressing yourself and being true to you. Only when one is true to themselves can they be whole. So be encouraged and lifted up, you’re quite the gentleman and a true catch to be had. If only I lived near you, I’d do all I could to make you smile, all the time.
Keep your head up and if you can’t fix it, you just gotta stand it. You’ll get through this, too. I have confidence in you.
Darin in Southern Ohio
June 5th, 2006 at 4:16 am
Jolly good too
…I’ll drink to that!