Comments on: It’s Not Easy http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/ The Ramblings and 'Ritings of a Big-Dicked Country Boy Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:59:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Richie http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2899 Richie Thu, 23 Mar 2006 17:56:13 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2899 Wow, it's nice to know that someone has the balls to blog about insecurities also. A lot of people out there get jealous, but hardly anyone acknowledges it about themselves. Wow, it’s nice to know that someone has the balls to blog about insecurities also. A lot of people out there get jealous, but hardly anyone acknowledges it about themselves.

]]> By: HB http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2882 HB Wed, 22 Mar 2006 11:44:18 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2882 Hmmm... you know, I think I'm the same kind of jealous guy. I really feel comforted in knowing that my guy is "with me" when we're out and about.. and yeah, I like to keep a lot of physical contact whenever I'm out that the bars or somewhere public like that.. partly because I just love to cuddle.. but another part of me wants to make sure that the hottie next to me is taken... it might seem a bit selfish at times, but there have been a few times where I got burnt that way.. where someone lost interest in me and was only looking for the next best thing... so yeah, I'll admit too that there is a bit of insecurity in me on that part... Although 9 times out of 10, like you, I'll keep my jealous feelings inside until they fade away, because I know that on the one hand it's stupid to get jealous that way.. but yet, the huge romantic in me does get jealous regardless... ugh... oh well, at least you know you're not the only one going through this :) Hmmm… you know, I think I’m the same kind of jealous guy. I really feel comforted in knowing that my guy is “with me” when we’re out and about.. and yeah, I like to keep a lot of physical contact whenever I’m out that the bars or somewhere public like that.. partly because I just love to cuddle.. but another part of me wants to make sure that the hottie next to me is taken… it might seem a bit selfish at times, but there have been a few times where I got burnt that way.. where someone lost interest in me and was only looking for the next best thing… so yeah, I’ll admit too that there is a bit of insecurity in me on that part…

Although 9 times out of 10, like you, I’ll keep my jealous feelings inside until they fade away, because I know that on the one hand it’s stupid to get jealous that way.. but yet, the huge romantic in me does get jealous regardless… ugh… oh well, at least you know you’re not the only one going through this :)

]]> By: TOS http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2880 TOS Wed, 22 Mar 2006 05:58:40 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2880 "because deep down I know that I’m not what he needs" - OK I know that you are being open and honest but when I read that line and then re-read it, I couldn't help but think that you are selling yourself a little short (rolls eyes at unintentional pun and moves on) Let him make that determination man! Now of course I could be way out of whack since I don't know anything other than what you have written but just roll with me for a second longer... what if you are the kindof guy who could make him happy? Say you are - what makes you think that a <i>man</i> would actually be that direct and obvious (since in my experience most men are anything but direct and obvious when it comes to the more 'sensitive' feelings) and show you how he feels? I dunno - knowing how I am (a tad on the self-protectionist side when it comes to my feelings or getting hurt - even potentially) I used to think the same way - but then I met my Boo who didn't react the way I needed him to (put up a billboard on the highway saying I LOVE YOU - YOU MAKE ME HAPPY) but every once in a while showed me (when I wasn't expecting it) that yes, someone like me and in fact me personally could make him happy. Sorry that came off like a psych lecture - but you seem like a genuine guy with feelings and a sensitive side + that other thing, but really I think that goes a lot further than you'd think. Don't let the guy get away if you still like him! My $.02 - sorry for war and peace, I'm supposed to be doing a paper but procrastination has set in! “because deep down I know that I’m not what he needs” - OK I know that you are being open and honest but when I read that line and then re-read it, I couldn’t help but think that you are selling yourself a little short (rolls eyes at unintentional pun and moves on)

Let him make that determination man! Now of course I could be way out of whack since I don’t know anything other than what you have written but just roll with me for a second longer… what if you are the kindof guy who could make him happy? Say you are - what makes you think that a man would actually be that direct and obvious (since in my experience most men are anything but direct and obvious when it comes to the more ’sensitive’ feelings) and show you how he feels? I dunno - knowing how I am (a tad on the self-protectionist side when it comes to my feelings or getting hurt - even potentially) I used to think the same way - but then I met my Boo who didn’t react the way I needed him to (put up a billboard on the highway saying I LOVE YOU - YOU MAKE ME HAPPY) but every once in a while showed me (when I wasn’t expecting it) that yes, someone like me and in fact me personally could make him happy.

Sorry that came off like a psych lecture - but you seem like a genuine guy with feelings and a sensitive side + that other thing, but really I think that goes a lot further than you’d think. Don’t let the guy get away if you still like him!

My $.02 - sorry for war and peace, I’m supposed to be doing a paper but procrastination has set in!

]]> By: Jay http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2859 Jay Mon, 20 Mar 2006 03:39:19 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2859 Yay! You can admit to a fault. You can recognize a fault and dislike it. Yay, you're on your way to "recovering" from the fault! I'm happy to see this. See, when you're jealous like that (as has been said) you're trying to "own" someone and "control" them to make them your own instead of trying to let them be who they are and develop that way. This is something I'm learning to do with the guy I mentioned to you earlier. (I think he's just not that into me, but I want to know when he was considering me worth being into.) I would encourage you to just keep an eye out for your actions. I think it's sweet that you're willing to be affectionate with things like an arm around your man, but stop there. Work on the jealousy thing. Honestly, it's best to nip it now before you get into a relationship where your jealousy starts to take over the other person's freedom to be themselves with you in a relationship. Finally, change isn't easy. It's difficult for things like this and it takes many attempts to get it right. The good thing to know is that change is what champions do. Every Olympian had to change and it wasn't easy for them. It took them many tries to get it just right. After winning the gold, they'll tell you that every day they have to change for the better. It's a constant process, but it's better to be a butterfly in the end than a caterpillar trying to eat a leaf while wallowing in the dirt. {{{{HUG}}}} I'm glad you're happy for him. That's big of you. Like I told you, size matters. (Get the album, man!) Yay! You can admit to a fault. You can recognize a fault and dislike it. Yay, you’re on your way to “recovering” from the fault! I’m happy to see this.

See, when you’re jealous like that (as has been said) you’re trying to “own” someone and “control” them to make them your own instead of trying to let them be who they are and develop that way. This is something I’m learning to do with the guy I mentioned to you earlier. (I think he’s just not that into me, but I want to know when he was considering me worth being into.)

I would encourage you to just keep an eye out for your actions. I think it’s sweet that you’re willing to be affectionate with things like an arm around your man, but stop there. Work on the jealousy thing. Honestly, it’s best to nip it now before you get into a relationship where your jealousy starts to take over the other person’s freedom to be themselves with you in a relationship.

Finally, change isn’t easy. It’s difficult for things like this and it takes many attempts to get it right. The good thing to know is that change is what champions do. Every Olympian had to change and it wasn’t easy for them. It took them many tries to get it just right. After winning the gold, they’ll tell you that every day they have to change for the better. It’s a constant process, but it’s better to be a butterfly in the end than a caterpillar trying to eat a leaf while wallowing in the dirt. {{{{HUG}}}}

I’m glad you’re happy for him. That’s big of you. Like I told you, size matters. (Get the album, man!)

]]> By: Jim http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2857 Jim Sun, 19 Mar 2006 20:22:43 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2857 I agree that jealousy sometimes comes from a feeling that you are losing something that you own, or want. However, does anyone really own another person? Even a good hustler is only rented for a limited time period. Still further, do you ever get everything you ever wanted? It's not nice to be owned, it's sometimes great to be wanted, but it is best to just be you and share what you wish to offer with others and that accept you as you are. I agree that jealousy sometimes comes from a feeling that you are losing something that you own, or want. However, does anyone really own another person? Even a good hustler is only rented for a limited time period. Still further, do you ever get everything you ever wanted? It’s not nice to be owned, it’s sometimes great to be wanted, but it is best to just be you and share what you wish to offer with others and that accept you as you are.

]]> By: Rebel_84U http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2855 Rebel_84U Sun, 19 Mar 2006 00:32:34 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2855 Just fall for me and be done with all those other guys ! Nobody loves you like I do. And I have lots of money to prove it ! I can only imagine how nice it would be to have a hot stud like you being jealous over me. That would be most excellent ! Just fall for me and be done with all those other guys ! Nobody loves you like I do. And I have lots of money to prove it !
I can only imagine how nice it would be to have a hot stud like you being jealous over me. That would be most excellent !

]]> By: brian http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2854 brian Sat, 18 Mar 2006 15:20:37 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2854 Believe me, there is nothing romantic about jealousy.Having a possesive partner can sometimes create problems.If the relationship is truly a fit, it doesn't need to be forced.A popular partner can become a posession rather than a person. Believe me, there is nothing romantic about jealousy.Having a possesive partner can sometimes create problems.If the relationship is truly a fit, it doesn’t need to be forced.A popular partner can become a posession rather than a person.

]]> By: higher powered http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2853 higher powered Sat, 18 Mar 2006 12:00:05 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2853 I have the same type of jealousies. It's a filthy way to feel. I've always been aware of it and always hated it. Until I quit drinking 2+ years ago, I had no chance of making any corrections to those feelings or behavior. Today, I have a choice because I'm sober. That's one of the great benefits of recovering from alcoholism. I have the same type of jealousies. It’s a filthy way to feel. I’ve always been aware of it and always hated it. Until I quit drinking 2+ years ago, I had no chance of making any corrections to those feelings or behavior. Today, I have a choice because I’m sober. That’s one of the great benefits of recovering from alcoholism.

]]> By: Todd/Imnot2bzy http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2852 Todd/Imnot2bzy Sat, 18 Mar 2006 11:29:49 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2852 Sometimes this sort of thing can be hard to come by. Im sure to it's extreme, it can be a bad thing. But, I don't see it as such. I think it's a good thing. Like Curtis said it can be attractive once in awhile, knowing that your man feels that way towards you or others. Some don't seem to take that much pride, if that would be the right word to use. In having a boyfriend and putting claim to him anymore. So many have open relationships that people don't even hesitate anymore when knowing someone has a boyfriend. First thing through their mind is... hmm wonder if they do three ways? Not, oh I better leave well enough along he is taken. Their seems to be no value or respect on that level. A bit of the jealousy you speak of is refreshing, flattering, and encouraging. I detect a bit of chivalry. Which is always a good quality. I'll admit, I felt a little green myself reading this post. Sometimes this sort of thing can be hard to come by. Im sure to it’s extreme, it can be a bad thing. But, I don’t see it as such. I think it’s a good thing. Like Curtis said it can be attractive once in awhile, knowing that your man feels that way towards you or others. Some don’t seem to take that much pride, if that would be the right word to use. In having a boyfriend and putting claim to him anymore. So many have open relationships that people don’t even hesitate anymore when knowing someone has a boyfriend. First thing through their mind is… hmm wonder if they do three ways? Not, oh I better leave well enough along he is taken.

Their seems to be no value or respect on that level. A bit of the jealousy you speak of is refreshing, flattering, and encouraging. I detect a bit of chivalry. Which is always a good quality.

I’ll admit, I felt a little green myself reading this post.

]]> By: Sue http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2851 Sue Sat, 18 Mar 2006 01:53:23 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/03/17/its-not-easy/#comment-2851 While jealously is not a good thing, I can understand your position. There are not so many available guys out where you live. One could feel kind of despirate under those circumstances. You have found one you 'sort of like', and you mean to keep him. Are you sure he is lost to you just because he 'sort of likes' someone else? Why are you not good for him? It is difficult to tell from your post. But I trust your judgement, I just can't stand to think of you alone. BTW - it is tough to picture you as a 14 year old girl. While jealously is not a good thing, I can understand your position. There are not so many available guys out where you live. One could feel kind of despirate under those circumstances. You have found one you ’sort of like’, and you mean to keep him. Are you sure he is lost to you just because he ’sort of likes’ someone else? Why are you not good for him? It is difficult to tell from your post. But I trust your judgement, I just can’t stand to think of you alone. BTW - it is tough to picture you as a 14 year old girl.

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