Comments on: Tennessee Waltz http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/ The Ramblings and 'Ritings of a Big-Dicked Country Boy Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:32:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: moby http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2771 moby Thu, 09 Mar 2006 00:41:21 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2771 You are not selfish for imagining your life in other ways. Actually, it makes you normal. You love your Granny and she knows it. As much as you know she loves you. You are making a sacrifice out of love. That in my book is never a bad thing. There will come a day when you will be forced to go on w/o her. Sad as that will be, it's part of the cycle. We all die. You are making the best of your life and hers by being there for her now when she needs you. There is no shame in looking ahead. You are not selfish for imagining your life in other ways. Actually, it makes you normal. You love your Granny and she knows it. As much as you know she loves you. You are making a sacrifice out of love. That in my book is never a bad thing.

There will come a day when you will be forced to go on w/o her. Sad as that will be, it’s part of the cycle. We all die. You are making the best of your life and hers by being there for her now when she needs you. There is no shame in looking ahead.

]]> By: Rico http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2745 Rico Fri, 03 Mar 2006 20:12:52 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2745 Tony, your love and compassion for Granny has moved me to tears. Whatever happens in the future, the joy of life that you share together will remain in her heart and yours. Tony, your love and compassion for Granny has moved me to tears. Whatever happens in the future, the joy of life that you share together will remain in her heart and yours.

]]> By: yepal http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2739 yepal Fri, 03 Mar 2006 03:39:20 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2739 That is so sweet,Tony. But don't feel bad if a thought about post-Granny crosses your mind, it's just natural. You are with her now 100%, that's what counts, and the love and care you are giving will always come back to you - trust that. That is so sweet,Tony. But don’t feel bad if a thought about post-Granny crosses your mind, it’s just natural. You are with her now 100%, that’s what counts, and the love and care you are giving will always come back to you - trust that.

]]> By: BIG18GUNZ http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2738 BIG18GUNZ Thu, 02 Mar 2006 19:56:21 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2738 Wow, Tony, you really took Granny there! Here's what I think: This was obviously a very powerful emotional experience for her on several levels. On the one level, to her,you BECAME your grandfather. Think about it. You know you resemble him. that combined with the waltz and the music literally took her back in time. Now , what I know of Granny from all you've written about her, I'd surmise that one of her cardinal traits is a great considerate-ness, a tendency to put others, especially you, first. When she realized it was you, it saddened her because she percieves that she's holding you back. that you shouldn't be dancing with her, a silly old granny, as she may think, but with your own wife, making your own cherished memories. She's probably thinking things like this more and more. I'm not sure what you should do, but most likely it will pass. Spring is coming. That you have those feelings wondering what it would be like if she were gone, I think these thoughts, musings if you will, are quite normal. Don't punish yourself for them. Everyone has thoughts like that. It doesnt mean anything. I think when you do meet Mr Wonderful, Granny will not ever be any sort of "obstacle". Be thankful for your relationship with her. My Grandma had nine children, each of whom had seven to ten children each. She died about 10 years ago and I can't recall that I ever said more than 10 words to her in my life. she lived nearby and she'd visit, but the most I remember out of her was "now which one are you?" large families are not all that they are cracked up tp be. there's a LOT of anonymity there.- Rich Wow, Tony, you really took Granny there! Here’s what I think:
This was obviously a very powerful emotional experience for her on several levels. On the one level, to her,you BECAME your grandfather. Think about it. You know you resemble him. that combined with the waltz and the music literally took her back in time. Now , what I know of Granny from all you’ve written about her, I’d surmise that one of her cardinal traits is a great considerate-ness, a tendency to put others, especially you, first. When she realized it was you, it saddened her because she percieves that she’s holding you back. that you shouldn’t be dancing with her, a silly old granny, as she may think, but with your own wife, making your own cherished memories. She’s probably thinking things like this more and more. I’m not sure what you should do, but most likely it will pass. Spring is coming.
That you have those feelings wondering what it would be like if she were gone, I think these thoughts, musings if you will, are quite normal. Don’t punish yourself for them. Everyone has thoughts like that. It doesnt mean anything. I think when you do meet Mr Wonderful, Granny will not ever be any sort of “obstacle”.
Be thankful for your relationship with her. My Grandma had nine children, each of whom had seven to ten children each. She died about 10 years ago and I can’t recall that I ever said more than 10 words to her in my life. she lived nearby and she’d visit, but the most I remember out of her was “now which one are you?” large families are not all that they are cracked up tp be. there’s a LOT of anonymity there.- Rich

]]> By: homer http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2735 homer Thu, 02 Mar 2006 15:15:51 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2735 Tony, you are so lucky to have your Granny around. She is so lucky to have you. My friends asked me why I had my Mom here for three months and I guess it was because it was good for both of us. Tony, you are so lucky to have your Granny around. She is so lucky to have you. My friends asked me why I had my Mom here for three months and I guess it was because it was good for both of us.

]]> By: Sue http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2734 Sue Thu, 02 Mar 2006 15:07:10 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2734 What a good man you are! I don't think you are selfish at all; rather you are warm and loving and having a normal reaction as someone who is making a great sacrifice in his life. You treasure her. I know how hard it is. You are handling this much better than I did with my dad and I didn't even do the day-to-day caring for him that you are doing. This post just knocked me for a loop and that is why I couldn't respond right away. It is so well written and expresses your feelings. All those unexpressed emotions hiding inside me welled up and threatened to come out. (Can't let that happen.) All I can say is good for you Tony! What a good man you are! I don’t think you are selfish at all; rather you are warm and loving and having a normal reaction as someone who is making a great sacrifice in his life. You treasure her. I know how hard it is. You are handling this much better than I did with my dad and I didn’t even do the day-to-day caring for him that you are doing. This post just knocked me for a loop and that is why I couldn’t respond right away. It is so well written and expresses your feelings. All those unexpressed emotions hiding inside me welled up and threatened to come out. (Can’t let that happen.) All I can say is good for you Tony!

]]> By: Matt http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2732 Matt Thu, 02 Mar 2006 01:22:23 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2732 Wow, Tony ... Don't do that to yourself. I'm incredibly impressed that you take care of her. I think that's all it is - she knows how much you love her and, once in a while, probably feels bad that you are so young and "stuck" with her so old. Just reassure her, I think that's all she needs. You area great guy. She knows that, to the n-th degree. Wow, Tony …

Don’t do that to yourself. I’m incredibly impressed that you take care of her. I think that’s all it is - she knows how much you love her and, once in a while, probably feels bad that you are so young and “stuck” with her so old. Just reassure her, I think that’s all she needs. You area great guy. She knows that, to the n-th degree.

]]> By: Kel von Texas http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2729 Kel von Texas Wed, 01 Mar 2006 23:27:51 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2729 Your a good boy Tony. Don't worry, you're doing whats right. And one day when the time is right some amazing man is going to dance the Tennesee Waltz with you and sweep you off your feet. Much love, Kel Your a good boy Tony. Don’t worry, you’re doing whats right. And one day when the time is right some amazing man is going to dance the Tennesee Waltz with you and sweep you off your feet.

Much love,

Kel

]]> By: TonkaManOR http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2727 TonkaManOR Wed, 01 Mar 2006 22:41:00 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2727 Tony, what a wonderful post. I miss my grandmother. Unfortunately, before she passed away, she was suffering from Alzheimer's, so she didn't really know who I was or what my life is like. Man she was tough, I remember her cussing out my mom and one of her sisters in Italian when I was a wee pup. She had a hard life married to a West Virginia coal miner, but she also had a great soft side that every once in a while would be exposed to us. Always cherish the time you have with your granny, thru good and bad. Time is fleeting. Tonka Tony, what a wonderful post. I miss my grandmother. Unfortunately, before she passed away, she was suffering from Alzheimer’s, so she didn’t really know who I was or what my life is like. Man she was tough, I remember her cussing out my mom and one of her sisters in Italian when I was a wee pup.

She had a hard life married to a West Virginia coal miner, but she also had a great soft side that every once in a while would be exposed to us. Always cherish the time you have with your granny, thru good and bad. Time is fleeting.

Tonka

]]> By: BewilderedofLondon http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2715 BewilderedofLondon Wed, 01 Mar 2006 17:48:27 +0000 http://blog.largetony.com/2006/02/28/tennessee-waltz/#comment-2715 That was so elegantly and intimately written it feels intrusive to comment. Honesty is risky, clumsy and painful and maybe the guilt you (both) feel is only the natural, if bitter-sweet, response to what is unsayable out of circumstances, sensitivity and kindness. Be just and kind to yourself too OK? You've earned it. That was so elegantly and intimately written it feels intrusive to comment. Honesty is risky, clumsy and painful and maybe the guilt you (both) feel is only the natural, if bitter-sweet, response to what is unsayable out of circumstances, sensitivity and kindness. Be just and kind to yourself too OK? You’ve earned it.

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