LARGETONY Blog

Somebody asked me today what was on my Christmas list. I told her that I don’t have a Christmas list because I don’t really get presents. She gave me a look like she thought I was the most pitiful thing she had ever seen. Think malnourished three-legged puppy shivering from a fall into a frozen lake kind of pitiful. She was so concerned, it made me laugh.

I could see it on her face. She was picturing me in a barren room with bare wood floors and cracked plaster, sitting on an old apple crate in front of a near burned-down candle (the only thing giving off light or heat) opening up a tiny package wrapped in yellowed newspaper. Inside would be some token little thing like a pencil cup or a tissue box I have made for myself out of old cornhusks, discarded shell pasta, and gathered twigs, that I open with mock surprise on Christmas morning.

It’s just another example of how people have come to believe that if it doesn’t look like the Showcase Showdown from “The Price Is Right” under your tree, then you can’t possibly have a good holiday. No, I don’t get a lot of presents. But it also doesn’t bother me that I don’t. So don’t feel sorry for me. I really don’t even think about until someone gives me that look.

Sometimes I may get a little something from “J” or RJ, but it’s not anything I expect or am counting on. I do have plans to get something for myself, but it won’t be like the pitiful scenario. I’m going to take my Christmas bonus from work (that makes it seem less like it’s my own money) and get myself a leather coat. But I’m not going to wrap it and “surprise” myself with it. In fact, I will probably wait until after Christmas and see if I can get a good one one sale.

But as far as between Granny and me, it will be pretty simple. And that doesn’t bother either of us in the least. Granny is 88 years old. She does not go out Christmas shopping anymore. And there’s not really much I can get for her that she would find useful. (Installing a handrail to help her get in and out of the shower is useful to her, but not the kind of thing you put under the tree. ) Besides, there’s just the two of us so there would not be a lot of loot anyway. I will find her a book on tape and a sweater or something that makes her feel pretty. And for me, Granny will probably do what she has done for years, even back when she was able to shop as well: She’ll get up that morning and make me pancakes with pecans. Which reminds me. I need to get some pecans.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 20th, 2005 at 11:28 pm and is filed under being tony, holiday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.