LARGETONY Blog

I want a seven-figure income. Yeah, dont we all. But I don’t want a paycheck that big for the money. I wan’t a paycheck that big for the job security. Have you noticed that the people who are least likely to struggle without a steady paycheck are also the ones least likely to lose their jobs for bad performance?

Tennessee lost it’s fourth game of the season Saturday night to South Carolina, a team that has not beaten the Vols in 13 years. The Vols now have a losing record thus far in the season (3-4), have dropped out of the national rankings, are at the bottom of the SEC conference, and are now in jeopardy of not making it to a bowl game, period, let alone a good bowl.

“Why does all this matter?” I know many of you are asking. “It’s just a football game.” On one level, you’re right. It is just a football game. I really doesn’t effect the important things in life. But on another level, Phil Fulmer, the head coach, is paid more than 2 million a year to win those just football games.

It’s the money that ticks me off more than the losing. Even though I am a huge football fan, I still have to ask, does someone really deserve 2 million dollars for coaching eleven to thirteen football games a year? There is something wrong when one of the highest paid people at a university is someone who has nothing to do with the classroom. I’ve always thought that people should be paid according to how much influence they have on the advancement of civilization. The highest paid people should be the ones who give us knowledge (teachers), provide us with safety (soldiers and firefighters), and prolong life (doctors and nurses). Doctors are the only ones that get their fair share (although some specialists, like plastic surgeons, are overpaid. I mean, are chin lifts, tummy tucks, and 38DD implants really going to carry us into the next millenium?…okay the 38DD’s might, if there’s a flood.)

Like monster bazooms, football can be highly entertaining, can make drunken frat boys act like fools, and alienate wives…but it really does little to advance society. It’s just entertainment. Like getting blow jobs. I love the hell out of it, but it’s entertainment. But, it’s also an entertainment that produces a shit pile of money. Millions and millions pour through the athletic departments of major universities like Tennessee every year.

Sidebar. Consider this: Neyland Stadium at UT seats 105,000. At least 6 games a season are played at home. Tickets are, at the least, around 40 bucks. Most are much more, and season tickets require a donation to the department. Then there’s the million or two they make for televised games, and the multi-millions they make (up to 13) for appearing in bowl games. Think of how much money is coming in. And that’s just football.

I guess that’s the argument. If all this money is coming in, why shouldn’t the coaches get a healthy chunk of it? OK. Fine. Fair enough. Nokia isn’t sponsoring the Math Bowl, so why should that Algebra teacher get more than 40K a year? But all that money is coming in because lots of fans are attending the games and tuning in. And lots of fans do that only because their favorite team is winning.

I would venture to guess that everyone reading this has a job. Some of us work for somebody and others of you work for yourselves. In either case, we all make some amount of money doing our jobs. Work for pay is really a very simple concept, actually: Do a job, get paid. Do it well, continue to get paid. Do it poorly, you are SOL, my friend.

I’m not saying Fulmer should be fired…yet. But it’s time somebody at the university light a fire under his tubby ass. Or at the very least remind him that he got the head coach position, thirteen years ago, when the previous coach was fired mid-season after the team’s fourth loss, which happened to be to (cue ominous music) South Carolina. What’s that saying about “those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it?”

It seems to me that if the average migrant worker is going to lose his or her thirty-five cents a bushel for not meeting some made-up quota, then a college football coach should have his multi-million dollar contract on the line when he doesn’t win.

During the game the other night, one of announcers on ESPN2 said “Tennessee is the most disappointing team in college football this year.” AMEN.

VOL Fan T-Shirt: $20

Ticket to Tennessee-South Carolina Game: $45

Head Coach in 13th year of fat contract: Worthless

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 30th, 2005 at 11:26 am and is filed under football, rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.