Comments on: Nice Kitty

By: Guy

Guy — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 03:27:14 +0000

Being nice or pleasant is just social lubricant; it’s a way of keeping things moving along without too much stress or strife. There’s nothing wrong with being nice.

But, to me, favors aren’t covered under “being nice” to strangers & acquaintances. I do favors for friends when they ask (if I’m able), and I know the odds are good they’ll do one for me when I really need it, but I don’t keep a spreadsheet on it. I sometimes do a good thing for a stranger — give someone a ride when they’re by the road in the rain; give my sack lunch to some guy with a sign that says “Hungry, Need Food”; etc — but I don’t consider those favors. That’s just doing the right thing.

Maybe it’s because I’m older, or just more curmudgeonly, but when someone who’s not one of my friends starts buttering me up in order to get a favor, I don’t find it difficult at all to be nice while I’m saying, “Sorry, but I can’t help with that.” Interesting how often the other person’s niceness just disappears right about then…

By: Corin

Corin — Fri, 12 Aug 2005 01:00:44 +0000

As a fellow Cancerian, Tony, I can relate to how you were treated by your “friend”. Know this, though: your compassion clearly trumps his behavior any day! You should be proud of yourself.

By: moby

moby — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 04:37:42 +0000

I always say ‘the world is what we make it’ so I try to do the things I think keep me an honest honorable person. It’s not always easy knowing when to turn someone away when we suspect their motives. They often use that against us. However, that doesn’t mean we should give up. I’m glad you made the effort. Now you know w/o any sort of doubt what type of person he is and how to deal w/him.

By: thedeliveryguy

thedeliveryguy — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 01:14:22 +0000

Although hardening yourself might seem like the solution, the very next person to whom you are kind could wind up being a friend for life who pays you back in ways you hadn’t even dreamed possible. Of course that doesn’t mean let people take advantage of you — the key is finding a balance between the extremes, so that trouble knows to look elsewhere while goodness can still find you.

Hope you won’t let one misstep make you distrust your ability to achieve that balance overall.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 00:17:11 +0000

My experience has been that a lot of people are low life pieces of fucking shit. It’s just one of the realities of life. But it does not mean you have to be like them OR that you are a pussy if you are not like they have become. Look at relationships like this, “at least you know you are going to get screwed”.
Keep on being yourself, the world can use all the nice guys it has.

By: John

John — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 21:06:25 +0000

Like Little Red Riding Hood says (or rather sings) in the musical Into the Woods after her run in with the Big Bad Wolf… “And though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.”
At the same time, people being nice to one another is part of the social fabric that holds things together even though there are folks that will take advantage of that no end. We all gotten burned because we were nice at some point. But things would be icky indeed if no one was nice for any reason.
Keep the chin up.

By: Zeke

Zeke — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:51:02 +0000

Yeah Tony. It really sucks when people take advantage of your friendship. I’ve been there too.

But I never think of pussy when I think of you

By: Dave / higher powered

Dave / higher powered — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 09:15:06 +0000

Damn Tony. I could have written that whole piece. You sound just like me. The same feelings. Although, I don’t like to get in any type of physical fight.
In my newfound sobriety (2 years) it is incumbent for me to be nice to everyone. That doesn’t mean we must be friends, but I can’t allow myself to be unfriendly. At least, not for no reason. Being an introvert, I find it quite difficult to extend myself outwardly to others. Like you said, another part of lifes’ experiences. Part of growing up.
Thanks.

By: ron beck

ron beck — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 05:43:45 +0000

here are a few thought rolls… liked what you said to say a few days back about the social statis of blogs today, was insightfull. i also enjoyed this article about “the pussy”. as i read it i found myself thinking about similar situations that i have been in that were much like yours. i think it’s good to give to others. nothing makes me more happy than to see someone enjoy something i’ve given them or done something for them. its a great feeling, one of which i value very much and hope never to loose. i’ve lived by the following “give to give and not to get” often times finding myself submerged in the litter pan for it. guess you just keep working around the shitty clumps and sooner or later you’ll find yourself next to a warm, furry puring thing…