Your boss is wrong. Being a nice guy doesn’t mean you’re not supervisory material. Being a boss doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk (though many people seem to think so). I always prefer working for someone who respects me as a person and shows it with the way he/she treats me on a daily basis. That’s the kind of boss I was, and the only staff members I had trouble with were the ones who wanted to take advantage of the situation. They found out that, while I could be a very nice guy, I also didn’t accept crap from my staff nor excuses about why they didn’t do the job they were hired for.

Your boss seems to be lacking in the soft skills. If he really cared about you as a person, he wouldn’t have sandbagged you with this. It would have been more appropriate to take you aside ahead of time and let you know what was coming. As part of that he should have explained what was happening and why he’d made the decision, as well as told you what he wanted to see from you so he could consider you for the next team leader slot.

Instead, he’s happy to treat you rudely and leave you in your current slot. If you’re happy being there, then stick with it. There’s nothing wrong with being happy with what you do, and not feeling much like changing it. But given how you feel about this situation, I have to guess that you’d like something more.

If you think you don’t have any chance of changing his mind about giving you a shot next time, looking for something new may be appropriate. Just don’t burn any bridges in the process. You may want him to give you a reference for the next job.

However it turns out, you have my best wishes. From your writings, I believe you’re a decent person, and I have to think you’re a good employee as well. Consider branching out from your current type of work, though, and see if Monster.com has any listings for junior writers. Or just contact some of the online ‘zines, like Slate, and see if they’ll give you a shot. You write a damn fine essay.

I hope you find something that works for you.

I think your boss’s approach and reasoning were both weak! First, it seems he wasn’t exactly thrilled to discuss the situation with you. And, no matter what he said — he could have given you a chance at the job. If for some reason you didn’t hack it as a team leader - then bring in the next guy, but it certainly seems you deserved the chance to fish or cut bait. I don’t understand why you couldn’t do what you currently do and be a team-leader at the same time.

To my way of thinking when bosses do what your boss did, they are sending you a message. As much as we may hate to read it, that is exactly what they are doing. It seems you are fine - and you really are - fulfilling your current position, but not much more beyond that.

Is your boss the kind of manager who might be willing to help you develop whatever skills he thinks is necessary for a team leader promotion? Do you like working for him enough to try to salvage the situation and restore your pride?

After working for one employer for 6 years, I also received the “kick in the teeth.” I was designated as “in charge” when my boss was out, yet I was passed over for his job when he quit. I was upset, frustrated, embarrassed and for me, I did the unthinkable. I quit.

Back then I wasn’t as confident as I am today and I wouldn’t leave a job unless the buidling was on fire.

Long story short, it was one of the best moves I ever made. Within a year I was made manager of a department much larger and way more interesting than the one I left. I learned a great deal and eventually became self-employed.

I work hard, can pay the bills plus some and no sumbitch is ever going to screw me again. Well, you know what I mean……

Take care of yourself and believe in yourself Tony. Perhaps your boss will realize what a good thing he had in you - when you are no longer there.

Whatever you do - I sincerely wish you well.

From the land of Aloha…

Mike

btw…i’ll bet that the fuckhead who got the job has a small prick.

PS
On a selfish note, bring back the country boy and loose the thong and anamal prints, be yourself. I’ve got a feeling thats enough. Your gonna be great.

David

And I’ve been there. I was once passed over for a promotion (to a different department), given to girl with no seniority/experience. When I asked, I was told, “You’re really good at what you do. So we need you where you are.” I guess my being a good emplyee was holding me back. I stayed there another month.

First, I have to come clean. I admit that I’ve been stopping in here for the inches. Who knew I’d be sticking around for the quality and less so for the quantity?

As much as I don’t like saying this, your boss (the big boss) may have a point. Nice guys that are well liked by others are often passed by when it’s time to choose a new person to oversee things. That’s actually a pretty typical scenario, is it not? Perhaps the big boss is more comfortable selecting someone that he can comfortably yell at and kick around when necessary (if he paid a lot to get this guy, he probably feels that part of the deal is that he gets to ride his ass to meet new goals). And you admit that your own work (good as it may be) tends to keep you off on your own. Perhaps you’ve ended up there because that’s exactly where you fit best.

It sounds like you wanted the promotion because you felt it was due you. But was it really what you wanted? Really?? Are you really the kind of person that wants to deal with all the isues and problems and personalies of a large group of people? I’ll tell you, it can suck and it can take away any enjoyment you have in your work.

Maybe this will help shed some light on other ideas you have kicking around in that lovely noggin of yours. Perhaps you’ll even find that being off on your own doing your detail/finishing work affords you the extra time to expand your creative process and your other “on the side” projects. You’re obviously interested in marketing yourself–your images; your writing. I bet you can end up earning as much or more following up on your own projects than you would have as the new head honcho at work.

BTW…you think the new guy doesn’t like you? Well, don’t let him get away with that. Someone (maybe the big boss) may have suggested to him that you would have expected to be the next in line for a promotion. So his opinion of you may be jaded based on info he was given. Or maybe he just sensed it after watching you work and interact with the others. Whatever…be cool and cooperative. If you’re good at what you do, he’ll rather have you on board than not. It’ll make his life as a new boss easier.

Sorry for rambling. I just feel I owe you. LOL…

beafybear@yahoo.com

I’ve also gotten a promotion I was trying for and found being a supervisor more trouble, headaches, and hard work than it was worth.

Plus, it’s not fun when you’re the one responsible when other people screw up.

Also there’s this: No matter how nice and accomodating they are, everyone hates the boss. Maybe not much, mind you, but simply because they are an authority figure and someone they have to answer to, there is bound to be some animosity there, even if only a little.

Plus, instead of the easy comraderie you and your fellow workers probably share, it would be “Uh oh! Look busy! Here comes Tony!” Do you really want that?
Well, maybe so, but I didn’t like it much. Instead of being “good ol’ Jimmy” I was one of THEM, and everything changed.

Not to belittle your pain and anguish, but maybe it’s for the best.

Your buddy,
Jimmy