No Big Thing
It is often said that the internet, with its e-mail, chat rooms, and online shopping, is destroying personal interaction among humans. People are disconnecting from actual contact by contacting each other through cyber connections. There is proabably some truth to this. But what I have found that’s interesting (and a little unsettling) is that as things have become less personal, they have become very personal.
Maybe it’s the protection one feels to not be actually face to face with someone, but more and more people feel like the seeming anonymity of an e-mail address gives them license to say whatever they want, with no regard for the other person. You know the saying, “opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” Well, apparantly a lot of assholes out there have a lot of assholes.
I get a lot of e-mails from people who visit the “naughty” side of my website. Mostly its typical stuff like, “I like your website”; “Why won’t the page load?” (As if I know. Send those questions to RJ, please! 
); “How big is it?”; “Could you post some pictures wearing (fill in the blank)?”; “How big is it?”; “Do you escort?” (NO.); “Are you in any pornos” (No.); “How big is it?”
You get the idea. Pretty basic stuff. I’m a pretty good guy, so I try to answer everyone. No matter how many times I have been asked a question, or how odd the question I try to respond to everyone and in a nice way. Like when someone writes “I’m coming through the area, lets “meat” at my hotel,” (”Meat? I wonder what he really means?? 
) I will have to turn them down (I mean it’s a complete stranger. I know some guys like the thrill of that, but I’d rather be sure that I’m not going to get crabs or get my dick –or head…the one on my shoulders, that is–chopped off.) but I will do it with good manners.
That’s the issue for me. Manners. It’s not that everyone has an opinion. Everyone has a right to an opinion (unless you live in North Korea). It’s the way people express those opinions. I know that baring all on the internet leaves me exposed to criticism, and having a blog with comments allowed is is inviting feedback. I can deal with it. (And I’ll admit that the lack of personal contact works both ways. It makes negativity and rejection, if you are on the receiving end, easier to handle.) Just have some manners.
I got an e-mail recently from a guy who wrote that he was upset about my website, or more specifically about my dick. Rather than “How big is it?” it was more of a “Why isn’t it bigger?” statement:
You are a rip-off. You’re supposed to have a big dick, but you don’t. I’m pissed!
Was that necessary? If he was unhappy with my hang, then couldn’t he have just said “I hoped it was more” or something like that. I don’t even know what should be a proper comment. Does it even need a comment? He really didn’t need to say anything. He could just stop visiting the site and be done.
Even with his rudeness, I have to say that his note amused me, too. There seemed to be a tone of “You’re not big. Do something about it.” What the hell can I do about it?? I didn’t make it. It tickles me when guys say they are proud of their cock. How can you take pride in something that you had nothing to do with creating. You can be pleased with it. You can be happy with it. You can be glad to have it. (All of which I am.) But it’s not like building bigger muscles or sculpting a statue. Unless excessive jacking makes your dick grow (and I am suprised I have not jacked myself into a coma over the last 15 years or so), I really can take no responsibilty for it’s size. It is what it is.
And it’s big. Maybe not big enough for this particular guy, and not as big as many others out there, but big, nonetheless. The Empire State Building isn’t the biggest in the world, but can you deny it’s still big?
Now, I could have been just a rude and responded to him with, “Why isn’t it big enough? What deformity do you have that requires something larger?” But, a) I’m a polite person; b) opening up a dialog on the subject would only serve to make it worse; and c) you can’t have a big thing to all people.
May 13th, 2005 at 12:38 pm
how about “Evidently, the differece between you and me is that I’ve got a big dick, and you ARE a big dick!
But thanks for writing, and have a super nice day!”
May 13th, 2005 at 12:58 pm
I think it’s just a matter of certain people being born miserable. They’re simply wired that way. The closest they come to any joy is in an attempt at pulling someone else into their own misery. I’ve met a few people, and I’m sorry to admit that I’m related to one, for whom the best and the most will never be enough. Watching or listening to a live performance of some kind, the likes of which brings the entire audience to it’s feet, yet the first critical words will be uttered by their lips. It’s a bit maddening to say the least, but you’ve done the right thing in saying as little as possible. In my experience, there never would be a right answer, they’re pathological in their continuous displeasure. It’s like a game to them. As fast as you can offer an attempt at satisfaction, they move the target and the problem is suddenly elsewhere. Actually, it’s profoundly sad.
May 13th, 2005 at 2:54 pm
I have been reading your blog for the past three months now ( I love reading it & it’s very well written ). Tony your going to come accross assholes all the time, I guess some people are just never satisfied about anything that life has to offer.
Everybody has a gift ( you have two ) your ability to write well and your great smile.
May 13th, 2005 at 4:31 pm
he is just one of those folks who has decided he hates you because you have something he doesn’t. jealousy really is an ugly emotion
May 13th, 2005 at 8:32 pm
Of course you are totally correct on all of your points Tony. BUT …
if you had wanted to bring yourself down to his level, you might have replied, “I’m sure there are bigger assholes than you. I’ll let you know if I meet one.”
May 14th, 2005 at 5:52 am
Yeah, the internet is a sesspool of bad manners. It just allows people to be true to their form I guess. How you present yourself and what you might say, says loads about yourself. Perhaps sometimes it’s a good thing they make themselves look like asses. Don’t want to know someone that is disrespectful to people anway. A weeding out process.
I think people have lost the concept of actually going out and meeting people the old fashion way and carry on a decent conversation. Some of which I think have just totally lost their social skills that they can’t even function without meeting or chatting online. They don’t respond, or just say the meanest things they would probably never do to your face. I don’t like the fact that they feel they can do just because they know they can get away with it. You’re right, allowing comments or having means of letting people be able to share their opinions can set you up for the bad things. Just don’t let it bother you sexy. I learned that very early on with my blog.
May 14th, 2005 at 10:20 am
Here’s a woman’s view on this…(as if you wanted one anyway, but here it is) I have seen the “naughty” web site, and I gotta tell ya I was impressed. It’s a very well put together site. Be sure to thank your friend for making it interesting. Personally I don’t obsess over size. What does that get you anyway? You’re right, men can’t control the size, it is what it is. I think this “friendly challenged” individual is just upset that he is not able to accept himself and must try and put others down to feel better. Granted, porn and all sites related to nakey-ness are dealing with sex, but they are not created to be the replacement for human interaction nor intercourse. It’s for fun, people…it is what you make of it. Smile when you see it, laugh when you think of it…as in all things we do that we enjoy.
May 16th, 2005 at 12:26 pm
Melissa, I always look forward to reading your viewpoint. I’ll bet I’m not alone on this. You’re our resident cool chick. Please continue to post often!
May 25th, 2005 at 3:08 pm
Tony, you are such a gentleman. All the more reason why you deserve a big kiss on the beautiful big d*ck of yours!