Just As I am
Somebody asked me recently what my thoughts were about God. God with the big “G”. I gave sort a simplified response: “I believe that there is something out there.” And that’s truly what I believe. I can’t say that I know what I believe that “something” is. But I can speak pretty clearly about what I don’t believe that “something” is. You see, I don’t go to church. (Actually it’s more accurate to say that I do not attend church. I actually go to church twice almost every Sunday. I go to drop my Granny off and to pick her up. But I do not attend services myself. It is the one way that I am a disappointment to my Granny. She worries about what the after-life holds for me beause I do not attend church.)
“Church” as an organization is why I do not attend church. It all has to do with what those organizations (particularly Christian churches in the South) teach about your relationship with God. I think your relationship with God is a personal thing and that church should be a place to learn how to build that relationship. Butthe way they teach, it seems that so much of that relationship is built on fear.
“Do what God says…or go to Hell!”; “Please God…or go to Hell!”; “Go to church…or go to Hell!” Hell with the big “H.” I just don’t get it. I don’t understand a God that you have to be afraid of. Especially since this is the same God that is supposed to be a loving and benevolent God. How is it that the same guy (or gal…who really knows?) who sacrificed “His only begotten son” for our sins is the same one who is going to hurl thunderbolts at us for wishing we had as nice a truck as the guy next door? (thou shalt not covet).
It’s almost as if God woke up one day, bored. “Hmmm,” he thought. “I’ve created all this other stuff, I think I’ll make man. Only, I’m gonna give him the potential to be flawed. And if any of those flaws show up, then I’m gonna smite him! I’ll show him who’s God.” It’s like the ultimate version of the “The Sims,” except that every seven days the Sims have to turn to the screen and tap dance for the creator to stay on his good side or face being banished from the game. I’m not saying that the higher power is not deserving of respect. It just seems to me that you show the respect because you feel it, not in order to avoid an after life of heat, humidity, and tattered clothing.
I guess you could argue that it was really Adam who is the cause of man’s flaws because everything was perfect until he ate the apple. But God created everything, right? So that means he not only created Adam , but also Eve, and the serpent who was Lucifer (aka the devil, Satan, Mr. Scratch) in disguise. He even created apples. Not just Granny Smith and Macintosh, but Forbidden, too. So, he sort of had an idea of what the outcome would be. Did he set up the whole game thinking, “Let’s just see how much Adam loves me.”
I just can’t believe that God is so self-absorbed that he would create a human being and set him up for failure and then get pissed when things don’t happen the way he wants. It’s like when kids get mad at their toys and throw them across the room. Is he God or a big petulant baby?
And how about the fact that some organized religious groups (particularly many Christian sects) feel like their beliefs are the only correct beliefs and that unless you convert you are doomed for all eternity. God favors one group over another?? God is not only self-absorbed, but a bigot, too?? Not my God.
My God doesn’t guide with fear, He guides by example. He is kind, generous, and embraces all people. And I try to be like him. I don’t always succeed. I know I can’t be as good as him. How can I? He’s God. I guess I do know what I believe that “something out there” is. That “something” is someone who just wants me to be the best I can be. And when I’m not at my best, He will forgive me. He understands that I have flaws and He’s okay with that. Afterall, that’s the way he made me…warts and all.
April 10th, 2005 at 12:16 pm
interesting thought- thanks for sharing, i used to wonder about this “god” thing too but no more. i read other source which point out the contradiction of the bible and it began to make sense to me. adam was not the first one man created because on the 6th day it says that men and women were created –in plural and there are plenty more of discrepancies thru out the book as pointed out by most theologians and similar stories are found in the sumerians and akkadians and other ancient human civilizations…. but i do enjoy reading your blog…thank again.
April 10th, 2005 at 2:22 pm
I for one have a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of god because he/she/it defies some pretty basic physical laws. In my opinion, organized religion is little more than a self-perpetuating system of control that taps into the basic human need to exist for a reason, and to go on existing after death. While capitalizing on the need to survive even after death, it also sets up the ultimate punishment for discobedience to the church (system) all in the guise of disobedience to god. It’s about people controlling other people.
Then again, I can neither disprove god or prove that orgainized religion is the greatest sham in human history. In the end it’s up to the individual, and all of us have the right to believe what we will. If I am wrong and there is a god, then I hope he is what you describe.
April 10th, 2005 at 7:44 pm
AMEN !!!
April 10th, 2005 at 9:59 pm
Wonderful rant Tony. Instead of blindly following something so ‘fundamentally’ flawed, you choose to question and ask why? This view can provide insights unavailable to the close minded by its very nature.
April 10th, 2005 at 11:25 pm
Never have I read such a thoughtful, common-sense, correct approach to Religion as we know it on a blog. I give you complete props for saying everything I feel.
My God is not the way some people say he is. He is a loving, devoted God who cares for us and nutures us especially when we need it. He doesn’t turn his back on us because we mess up.
Great post. Love it.
April 10th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
Excellent summation of what I’m sure many are thinking. I don’t think God is a person, or anything like us. But it helps us to think of it that way. People seem to need that, and unfortunately, they seem to need to be told what to do.
I like Buddhism because it has no God. Buddha was a person who struggled with life, and Buddha nature is everything, including things, animals, plants, people and planets. And goodness is a natural inclination if there is love in one’s life. It doesn’t have to be forced, as many Christian religions believe.
Thank you for the thought provoking article.
April 11th, 2005 at 12:11 am
These responses remind me of the questionnaire James Lipton does at the end of “Inside the Actor’s Studio” when he asks “IF heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive?” There have been many fascinating answers over the years but my favorite is the one Lipton himself gave: “See James, you were wrong, I do exist”. I would give the same answer but add on “I’ll let you in anyway”.
Organized religion likes to make people think that their way is the only way but I feel that those who are so busy condemning other people to hell are probably just reserving their own spot there.
April 11th, 2005 at 10:45 am
Perfect summary of how I feel about GOD!!
April 11th, 2005 at 12:32 pm
I had the hardest time with some of the “Christian” beliefs because I was a good kid who happend to be gay, except I was so naive I didn’t even know I was gay at the time.
After many years of struggle… I have rediscovered “God” as something beyond the small box most “Christians” place God in…
Good Post
April 11th, 2005 at 2:47 pm
It’s taken me a long time to be less afraid of God. I grew up with so many ‘hellfire and brimstone’ services. My Church even spoke of the ‘unpardonable sin’ and I wondered if I’d commit it without realizing it.
In spite of all the discomfort, discrepancies, organized religion’s hierarchy and whatever else is spewed at us - I still believe in a God somewhat like you describe. I think of God as a representative of all of us and, therefore, male/female but it’s our own human awareness that causes us to have to put a ’sex’ to God. I want to believe, but not in the narrow confines of man’s limited thinking. For me, that is what real Faith is. Thanks for your thoughts, Tony.
April 12th, 2005 at 2:06 am
Wow, the things I bring up! I actually feel guilty as I was viewing your other profile and was.. uh.. *ahem* [leave that thought for another time]
But my study of Church history has shown that the institutionalized western Church was *NOT* the way it was supposed to be, and that is the issue, the fact that it’s supposed to be people excited about getting together to share about their personal encounter with God together is what Church was originally founded to be 2000 years ago (until Constantine messed things up).
If you want to know more, let me know.
Phil
April 14th, 2005 at 11:57 pm
Very well-put.
April 24th, 2005 at 11:56 pm
I love your blog, your insights and your humorous way of seeing things around us. I like it, almost as much, as I like having the ability to see inside you and what makes you tick. Having seen that, there is no doubt to your good heart, passions, and beautiful being.
Although, I wanted to give a little added thought as to what you said about God. None of us will ever know the truth. Not until we’re gone, at least and then only if something more exists. So, while the mystery to God is required for life to exist (come on - if we knew nothing existed outside of this life .. there would be no need for conscious and chaos would rule. If we DID know for sure that something better did.. why would we want to even be here? Mystery is key.)
So what I am trying to say (I ramble too much and this is your blog, not mine, so I apologize) is that this is just my opinion and mindfood for you .. not a flame, an attack, or to say you’re right or wrong:
Sure God did create everything, including us and the thought that he created us as beings that would love him is not really that hard to accept. However, you can’t truly love someone unless you’re given that option to love them. You can’t truly obey someone, unless you’re given the option to disobey. We’re unique in our ability to have free will. It’s one of the things that sets us apart from other creatures.
Some would argue, than what is the point? God is omnipresent and omnipotent.. he knew what was going to happen, so why didn’t he just do things differently?
Knowing the outcome doesn’t change freewill. I could put someone in a situation that was beneficial and helpful to them, knowing that they were going to stay, but it doesn’t change my intent or desires for them.
That may be a bad way of explaining it.. the thoughts were much better placed until I started writing (sigh - I am not the best writer) ..but perhaps it conveys what I am trying to say?
God knew the outcome before the creation of the world. It doesn’t change the intentions and the chances we’re given. We’re free beings… but how much more love can someone show for you than stepping down to a level beneath them and facing sorrow, pain, and even death — when they don’t have to? Simply to adhere to their own rules and to provide us with a chance to be redeemed?
I think I am messing this up and I feel awful. I’ll submit it anyway. I don’t think God is hateful — but that’s just me and I am no saint by any means .. I dunno. Just don’t be turned off to God.
If he doesn’t exist, you’ve lost nothing by trying to be close to him - and if he does, you’ve lost everything by not.