LARGETONY Blog

My best friend is always trying to get me to go out to clubs with him. No big deal, huh? Well, sort of big deal. My best friend is straight, so he’s wanting to go to straight bars to pick up girls. He knows I’m gay, but he also knows that girls tend to like me a lot. He also has this theory that that because girls rarely go out alone and run, at least, in pairs, they are more likely to talk to a pair of guys. Now before you think I’m some monster, I usually don’t go along on these hunting trips. And when I do, I find a nice way to let them know that I am not looking to meet anyone. Still he looks on me as some sort of date bait.

I don’t know if its a guy thing or a straight guy thing to make use of your friends to get what you want. But indicators point to it being a tactic put into use much more by straight guys.

Consider a co-worker of mine. Sometimes, depending on the location of the job site, I sometimes ride to work with him. Every morning he used to stop at a particular fast food drive-thru to get a sausage biscuit. I always eat breakfast at home, so I would never order anything. There was a little guy who almost always worked the window who we ended up calling “Biscuit Boy.” When we would get up to the window, “Biscuit Boy” would look past my co-worker and say “You not having anything today?” to me. I would always say no, and yet he would say somthing like “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day” or some equally slogan-like statement. Then there would be an extra biscuit in the bag.
You know the old saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” In his own way, “Biscuit Boy” was flirting with me. We were sure of the fact when on the days that I drove myself, there was no extra biscuit for my buddy. On the days I was with him, I always let him have the extra because I had already eaten, so then he tried to get me to ride with him all the time. I went from date bait to biscuit bait.

Not only was I the bait to get more biscuits, but I was being baited with biscuits. I guess it’s sort of like when you use minnows to bait other fish.

My co-worker was disappointed several months ago when he drove up and “Biscuit Boy” was not there. Not there for several days in a row. He came to find out that Biscuit Boy no longer works there. No more free biscuits. Neither of us knows exactly what happened to Biscuit Boy. Maybe he quit, or maybe he was fired for giving away food. Wherever he is, I wonder waht he’s now using instead of biscuits to bait his trap.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 3rd, 2005 at 6:37 am and is filed under being tony. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.