Virtual Oscars
Sunday was Oscar night, and I’m sure that blogs everywhere will have some mention of the event. So, why should I dissapoint?
Except I’m not going to applaud or grouse about who won and who didn’t. I hardly ever go to the movies, so I have not seen a single thing nominated. I’m not going to critique to the dresses. I know nothing about fashion. So, I’m just going to talk about the show.
Let’s start with Chris Rock. Since I usually don’t even see movies until after they have gone to cable, I normally don’t watch the Oscars. And when I have in the past, it wasn’t for the whole night. But with Chris Rock as the host I had to see it. I love Chris Rock. I think he is one of the greatest comedians ever. What I love about him is that he says everything that we all think but are afraid to say and he makes no apologies for it. And he doesn’t play favorites. No matter who you are or what group you represent, he’s going to expose some truth about you. I thought he did a good job of hosting. I think the audience was a little afraid of him at first. They were like “Is he attack me, or is that a joke, or what?” They weren’t sure how to respond. But as the evening went on, they relaxed…except Sean Penn, who felt it necessary to defend Jude Law, who Chris Rock joked was just a popular person as compared to Tom Cruise, who is a star. Now, you all know that Jude Law butters my biscuits, but I took the joke in stride. I’ll bet Jude Law did, too. I think Rock was smart in using Jude Law as an example. He knows Jude Law has a humor about himself. Unlike Sean Penn.
Another good joke Rock made was about the fact that the awards for some categories were presented out in the audience. Chris said’ “Next year they’ll be giving out Oscars at the Drive-thru. Get and Oscar and a McFlurry and keep it moving.”
This brings me to my second topic about the Oscars. I took it from the joke that this is the first time they have done that out in the audience thing. They did it for some of the less “popular” categories like Best Short Film. I thought it was pretty tacky and unfair. Here are people who pour everything they have into creating great art (I mean that is what the Oscar is for, right? To honor the best in the various elements that make up motin picture arts?) and because they aren’t the people you read about in People Magazine they aren’t allowed to go up onstage and make a speech. These aren’t kids in the AV Club. These are people at the top of their game. Let them have their moment onstage. Sunday night’s show only reinforced the misconcieved idea that anyone who isn’t an actor, writer, or director isn’t very important. I hope there is a backlash about this and they have to go back to the old way next year. Sunday night’s method is even worse than proceedure of giving out the technical awards at a completely different untelevised unreported event on a different night. At least those people don’t have to face humuliation before the eyes of millions of home viewers. I’m surprised that on Sunday they didn’t hand out awards during commercial break and just throw a list up on the screen when we returned.
All this will eventually evolve into a souless virtual ceremony that no one really has to attend. Instead of gift baskets, celebrities will be given a web cam so they can sit in the comfort of their homes. They will then log in to some central server and be part of the Oscars Webcast. They won’t have to worry about tuxedos and expensive dresses. They can sit around in their robes and no one will be the wiser. Of course, to be nominated potential winners will have to use their e-mail address to opt in for consideration. This will cut back on them being spammed with lesser awards like “The People’s Choice”. Then, just as the winner is announced, a UPS leggy guy in a sparkly gown shows up at the front door to deliver the statuette via Amazon.com. Winners won’t have to worry about being cut off if their acceptance speeches run long becuase they won’t actually give them on camera. Instead, they will post them on an Oscar Message Board so anyone can read them at their convenience. And in case you are someone who simply must see the Oscar fashions, all the major designers will post dress options for all the major actresses. The best part is that you will get to pick what Julia Roberts is wearing. Click a dress option, and it is immediately rendered onto a photo of your favorite celeb. Think that Catherine Zeta Jones looks bad in green? CLICK! She’s in blue! You call the shots. (Adult verification will be required to dress J-Lo.)
My last topic deals with who gets to attend the Oscars. Who decides who gets invited and how? I mean naturally all the nominees and the presenters are invited. But what about all those other celebrities out there? Let’s take Oprah for example. Why was Oprah at the Oscars? She hasn’t been in a movie since The Color Purple and that was like 20 years ago. Is it because she was nominated once before? Once you are nominated or win, does that give you an automatic invite? Not saying that Oprah shouldn’t have been there. Just wondring why. Was it a ratings thing? Did ABC figure you put Oprah on camera a lot and people will tune in? Or is it just because she is the most powerful woman in the universe? (”You better invite Oprah or she is gonna be angry. You won’t like Oprah when she’s angry”)
Whatever the reason, Oprah was there, and she had a better seat and more camera time than those Short Film nominees. I guess that’s the way the world works. The filmakers are only artists. Oprah is a popular person.
March 1st, 2005 at 12:11 pm
The Oscars are usually the only awards ceremony I watch. Even though I don’t watch too many movies in the theater, I am a complete film snob and want to see who ends up winning.
In the end, these things are just a bunch of industry people wanking each other off. But sometimes a good jerk-off movie is what hits the spot, right?
March 1st, 2005 at 12:38 pm
actually, oprah’s been a member of the academy for a couple of years now. i remember she mentioned it on her show once when she had haley joel osment as a guest. she said something about how she was a member of the academy and how she believed that haley deserved to be nominated for his role in the sixth sense (where he eventually was). i suppose all the members get invited since they are the ones who screen the movies and cast their votes. the question, i suppose, is why is she a member? perhaps her contributions to the industry as a producer make her qualified to be part of the academy. but apart from that i think she’s fabulous! i’m definitely a fan of hers.
March 1st, 2005 at 2:34 pm
Back in the old Hollywood days when the Oscars were first presented, they simply held a dinner and gave out the awards. There were no nominees, and the recipients were told ahead of time to make sure they were at the dinner. I don’t know, it just seemed more classy to do it that way, instead of having five nominees, four of which will be considered losers.
March 5th, 2005 at 9:11 am
I didn’t mind Oprah being there. I think she attended due to all the black nominees being there and she did her show out there the next day - with what seemed to be more attendees for her show than the Oscars themselves. What was up with the rows of empty seats? I liked your jokes about the future of the Academy Awards. But really, we must ask ourselves why in the world USHER was there?! For real, what in the world?!
March 7th, 2005 at 11:12 pm
I agree with you on the presentation of the awards in the audience. It was kinda tacky, I thought. Also, as you mentioned, these individuals put their heart and soul into their work, and just because they are not the Sean Penns and Hilary Swanks of the world, they, nonetheless, deserve to have equal recognition. I also did not like for some of the other nominations where they had the nominees standing on stage before the announcement of the winner. They should just as well have renamed the award ceremony “The Oscars - Game Show Edition” or “The Oscars - Let’s Make A Deal style.” That is what the show felt like to me.
I also was checking out the Oscar website and came across a press release regarding the invitees to join the Academy in 2004. According to the press release, past nominees are considered for membership into the Academy (if they are not already members.) I am assuming that is why Oprah is a member of the Academy, since she is a past nominee. I get the impression that once you become a member, you are a member for life.
March 11th, 2005 at 6:29 am
you can actually be expelled from the academy. one member was kicked out for lending his oscar screeners. apparently, he lent it to someone who mass produced bootleg copies. encrypted digital markers allowed the bootleg copies to be traced back to the original.