Mean Gays
There’s a certain type of gay man that I really hate. It’s that really mean type of gay man who lives to make fun of everyone and everything that doesn’t fall into his narrow world of what is good, right, or acceptable. It’s just like those groups of teenage girls who terrorize the unblossomed and unpopular females.
I was trying out a different gym today and there were a trio of these “mean gays” there. All three had perfectly gelled haircuts and wore tight track suits on their tight bodies and a condescending sneer of disdain on their faces. You know those people who always look like they just got a whiff of a turd or something? The only time their expressions changed was to laugh and giggle at someone, just like adolescent bitches hanging out at the mall.
But I was not the target of today’s terrible trio. The boys today found entertainment in a guy on a treadmill. The guy was quite overweight, probably in the 300 lb range, but he was obviously in a gym to do something about it. But the mean gays couldn’t be that forward-thinking. Here was a guy who was working to improve himself and all they could see was someone who jiggled a lot when he moved. And they thought that was just the biggest laugh. It was an endless stream of titters and “oh my god’s” and “Look, look, look..eew.”
I was so angry I was seeing red. I don’t know if the heavy guy was aware. He must have been, because the trio was pretty obnoxious. But he kept his cool, and therefore his dignity and just focused on why he was there.
Why is this type of behavior so common among gay men? Seriously, this was no rare occurance. I see this sort of thing a lot. It’s not all gay men…or even most. But it’s a lot of them. I’ve had my share of experience with this type. Many a time in a bar I’ve had a group of their brethen make fun of my non-designer clothes and five-dollar haircut. If not that, then they may latch on to my thick accent, bad dancing, or the fact that I am not a pretty boy to ammuse themselves.
It’s so hard for me to understand why men in the gay culture can be like this. How is it a group of guys who are part of a culture that struggles to be accepted for who they are, can’t see fit to let other people just be who they are.
I know some of you are saying “Gay folks get made fun of all the time.” True. But does that mean is right, acceptable, or makes us feel good? Just cause somebody hits me with a rock, I don’t have the right to throw it at someone else.
January 20th, 2005 at 1:57 am
i know what you mean. i’ve pretty much given up on trying to be “friends” with the bitchy homos in my life.
selfishly, the breaking point came when my “friends” dissed me when i started my own business and they didn’t bother to check things out.
life is better without the drama, even if i have only two gay friends left.
January 20th, 2005 at 2:00 am
i know what you mean, i stopped trying to be “friends” with the mean homos in my life. i say “friends”, because once i stopped answering the phone, they stopped calling. ya, “friends”.
January 20th, 2005 at 2:01 am
mean homos suck
January 20th, 2005 at 2:01 am
mean homos are bad people
January 20th, 2005 at 1:06 pm
It is awful behavior, but I think why it happens so often is that’s what we see on TV. Looks at “Will & Grace.” Will and Jack are both very catty about how others look, it’s a large part of their stereotyped makeup, and that’s how most straight people see us. It’s also the image that’s forced upon us by our own community; look at ads in gay magazines, mostly for dieting, escorts, medical procedures, etc. It’s almost as if we were being told “That’s what you’re supposed to look like and how you’re supposed to act. Anything else is wrong.”
Just my opinion.
January 20th, 2005 at 5:41 pm
you’d think they would know how it feels
to be ridiculed. maybe they were teens.
February 3rd, 2005 at 4:20 pm
In truth, the trio probably has more insecurity issues than the overweight guy. People who are secure in themselves don’t often attack other less fortunate people. I was very skinny as a young adult and would often find myself the butt of said persons who felt I wasn’t good enough because I didn’t have a muscle bod. I came to realize, it wasn’t me they found fault with. They were directing their hatred of themselves at me. Took all the sting out of it after that. Never bothered me since.
February 5th, 2005 at 3:45 pm
I’m reading this entry pretty late but wanted to say that you really hit the nail on the head!!! Being part of the gay community myself, I’ve witnessed way too much shallowness from a lot of my fellow gays. I’m not perfect either and have always dealt with self-depreciating issues but I’ve come to realize that I’m pretty handsome myself, in my own way. I’m in good shape for my age (56) and have a nice dick that gets noticed…but I’ve still had to deal with gay people who can find fault or tee-hee when the next guy doesn’t fit in with their picture of perfection. Good observation Tony!!
March 8th, 2005 at 3:32 pm
From my experience, the people doing the commenting and usually the butt of most other people’s comments… I think it’s more of a defensive mechanism and a sign of low self-esteem… They get it, so when they are in groups they reciprocate. I usually feel sorry for anyone like that, what a waste of time..
BTW – I think you are mighty pretty!! If you get comments in a bar on not being cute enough, would love to see where you go! You can party in my bar anytime…
July 16th, 2005 at 6:57 pm
My thoughts, for what they’re worth:
There’s no such thing as an overall “gay community” despite the media trying to make the world believe that there is such a thing. The only thing we all have in common is an attraction to those with similar plumbing.
Gay men don’t own the copyright on being snotty & nasty — as Tony pointed out, look at teenage girls, for one. A certain sub-group of gay men seem to get a charge out of acting like teenage girls.
Look at any group, particularly minorities (sexual or otherwise), and you will find those who seek to raise their self-esteem by putting down members of their own group. “At least I’m better than *you*” seems to be the message they’re putting out. Too bad they’re mistaken.
That kind of behaviour is why I stay home with the cat. She has better manners.
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October 11th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Yeah, I agree. This is comin waaaaay late, but things don’t change that quickly. Ya know, I just do what my mama always told me to do: Stay away from people like that.
I also know what ya mean about the guys who look like they’ve smelt a turd. Pretty stupid-looking actually while they think they’re getting the whole world to notice how cute they are. I’ve seen many guys who are physically attractive but don’t realize that look and attitude just kills the effect, ha ha.
Here’s my solution…fuck ‘em all (and I don’t mean that in a good way) and laugh your way through life. It’s the only way to live