RU a Responsible Adult
Have you heard about this new pill on the market called RU21? I’m not sure what the brand name is, but you’ve probably seen the commercial where the guy is sitting at the breakfast table groaning and rubbing his forehead. Then his perky wife comes in all ready for work. He can’t understand why she’s so chipper becuase they went out on a drinking binge the night before. You see, she took a pill (RU21) that offsets the effects of a hangover. I can’t remember how it ends, but I bet it’s something like the guy sitting at a bar, shit-faced, and the bartender suggests he go easy on the Long Island Iced tea. The guy pulls out a pill box, pops a RU21, and winks at the bartender with a “Don’t worry about me” kind of look. The bartender nods with a knowing grin and gives the guy a thumbs up. Then all this is followed by a fast-paced disclaimer that says the pill should not be taken by those with heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, or ear infections and broken tablets should not be touched by pregnant mothers.
So, is this the trend in the pharmacutical (sp?) world? Hundreds of white-coated little scientists locked away in the labs of New Jersey developing a whole class of drugs that will take away the responsibilty we have for our actions?
First was that “Day After” pill that is sort of a retro-active birth control pill. Have the unprotected sex and then take the pill. This way, women don’t have keep up with that silly little pill container/calendar that keeps track of their doses. They don’t have to waste money buying a a month’s prescription in the hopes that they may get between the sheets. What if they don’t get laid for a while? Money down the tubes (no pun intended.) But with the “Day After,” if they happen to meet the right guy at the right moment and they get down with it, all she has to do is run down to Walgreen’s or CVS the next morning.
There’s also that pill that takes away heart burn before you even had it. Want to have a big spicy bowl of chili even though your innards can’t handle it anymore. Nevermind! Fool your body! Pop that pill and order the large bowl! Come back for seconds and don’t forget the tobasco! Now, be aware that you will still shit fire on your next trip to the toilet, but hey, no heartburn!
And now we have “Hangover Begone.” Have an important meeting with a client tomorrow? Are you the morning anchor on the news? Getting married , perhaps? Don’t worry, you can stay out all night drinking vodka gimlets (I have no idea what that is, I just like the sound of it) and tequila shooters until you puke your brains out. But you won’t have a headache or feel groggy!
That’s problem with this drug. People think, “No hangover? Pour me another drink!.” In a roundabout way, it basically promotes heavy drinking. It certainly doesn’t deter it. What about all those other effect of drinking. It don’t take away the puking. It doesn’t take away the fact that your face will be bloated and puffy. It doesn’t take the fact that you will smell like stale alchohol until its out of your bolod stream. It doesn’t take away the blackouts. It doesn’t take away the spousal abuse during a drunken rage. It doesn’t take away the vehicular (sp?) homicide from drunk driving. It just takes away headaches and responsibilty.
That’s why these drugs are gonna do so great and open the gates for a whole slew of non-responsibilty drugs. That’s the way society is these days. No one wants to take responsibilty for anything. And lawyers are mostly responsible for that (yet they won’t take responsibilty for it.) Take the woman who won millions of dollars from McDonald’s for spilling hot coffee in her lap. It still boggles my mind that some judge held McDonald’s responsible for that. Did the woman not have any responsibilty as an adult to know that coffee is hot and that if you drive with a beverage in a styrofoam cup, you might spill it?? As long as there is a lawyer in the phone book, you don’t have to take responsibility for anything. Don’t take responsibilty. SUE!
Even take something like the Michael Jackson situation. Now, I think something inappropriate probably did go on between Wacko Jacko and his youth squad, BUT I have to aks these parents who are sueing…AREN’T YOU AT LEAST SOMEWHAT RESPONSIBLE?? I mean, you let your child sleep over at a 40 year old man’s house with no other chaperones. You wouldn’t have done that if it was just any 40 year old. Because Michael Jackson is famous, that makes him safer?? Jeez, just look at his videos. Creative as they may be, they tell you that something is not right with this man. Let alone his crazy interviews and public appearances. You let your kids stay over at famous but certifiable Michael Jackson’s house when you would most likely not do the same at the home of 40 year old Mr. Smith who lives down the street and you’ve known for 15 years. It’s not the same as people who are having issues with priests and the Catholic church. It’s perfectly reasonable to entrust your child’s safety in the hands of a priest (no pun intended). But to give your child over to a known nut. Come on, you’ve have responsibilty in that.
Maybe those parents need a pill to give their kids that relieves the children of any emotional scars and washes away the effects of child sexual abuse. But then they’d be faced with the responsibility of making sure the child took the pill. But then they’d have no one to blame.
I’m going to develop an all-in-one pill to cover all these areas. Before going out at night, you take one pill. It’ll be a pretty large pill because it’s so powerful. This pill will promise to take away the effects of a hangover, allowing you to drink far beyond what your mind can tolerate. You will be so drunk that you will enter into a sexual encounter that you will regret the next day…but again, no worries becuase the pill will have a component that if you are a woman, blocks fertilization of your eggs; or if you are a man, kills your sperm so that you are shooting blanks. Then as you race to work, running late, you kill a bus load of school children in a traffic crash. But it all comes to a perfect end. You won’t do time because you can’t be responsible for what happened. You see, because the pill made you feel as if you were not hung over, it gave you the false sense that you were clear-minded (when in reality your blood-alchohol level was still soaring) and therefore Pfizer(or whover makes the pill) is responsible. If that doesn’t work in court then appeal and blame it on any or all of the following: the bartender who served you, the ad company that marketed the pill, the school bus driver, the parents of the school children, Al Quiada, John and Patsy Ramsey, O.J., the Hollywood machine…anybody. Somebody has to be responsible. Just not you.