LARGETONY Blog

I was getting an oil change in my truck the other day and I know a couple of guys at the place where I had it done. One of them said to me, “You still driving this thing?” Now my truck is only a few years old. Like six years. And it’s in pretty good shape too. A couple of dings and scratches here and there, but still a nice looking vehicle. And only six years old. So, why was he talking about it like its a heap?

I realized that for a lot of people, changing cars is like changings socks. I know guys who trade in for a new vehicle every three years or so. I’m not talking about guys who buy junkers, then fix them up and sell them for a profit. That’s business. I’m talking about people who feel like they can’t be seen in last year’s model and look down on us who, god forbid, are driving a car more than a year after its been paid for. When did cars become disposable instead of luxury items?

I guess cars are such a necessity these days (unless you live somewhere with buses and subways) that they really aren’t a luxury, but they sure still cost like a luxury. So, that’s the thing. With what cars cost, why don’t people want to hold on to them longer? I know people who have TVs a and toasters that are older than their cars. Most other items are kept until they either break down or technology has advanced so much that the old one becomes obsolete. Why not the same with cars?

The purpose of a toaster is to heat bread and turn it crispy brown. Until it stops doing that, no one ever thinks about getting a new one. The purpose of a vehicle is to get you (and sometimes cargo) from one place to the next. So, as long as it does that, why not enjoy the luxury of no payments?

It’s all image. Everybody wants to look good, be surrounded by good-looking things, and have their own things be newer and better looking than anyone else’s. Isn’t it amazing that we are so vain that just as we finish paying off a several thousand dollar loan, we are willing to enter into a brand new one and a new round of hundreds of dollars of payments monthly just because Detroit and Japan have dangled in front of us a new body style on top of the same old chassis.

What’s happened to loyalty. Don’t most of you devlope some sort of a bond with your car, unspoken or not. I know there are people who talk to their cars. I watched guys rub and caress their cars while washing and waxing like it was beautiful woman. Some people even name their cars after women. So if we can get so attached to our cars and trucks and motorcycles, etc, how can we be expected to give them up so easily for something newer and flashier? The only bonds we have that are stronger or more personal than with our cars are with our pets and partners. Nobody expects up to just give them up at the drop of a hat. At least not our pets. But, you know its only a matter of time, technology, and stem cell research before we start doing that with our partners.

Just think of it, you’ve been in a relationship a few years now and your hot husband has a few scrapes and dents. He’s not as shiny and clean smelling as when you first got him. But deep down you still like him. You like who he is at the core. You want to keep that part, but when you flip through magazines and you see all the new models coming out New York, Paris, Milan, and South Beach, you’ve got to have one of those 2012 body styles. You really like they way they are building them with bigger pecs this year, but without a loss in the biceps.

You hate to admit it, but you covet the new model your neighbor has. But driven buy that jealousy, you go down to the dealer and order up a new body style to go on your man’s old chassis. Those of us who aren’t as wealthy will have to get one off the showroom floor. No custom stuff, just standard. Or maybe we can find a pre-owned model that was well maintained and maybe just used on Sundays. Or better yet, buy one late in the year when they go on sale to make room for next year’s models. Maybe you could be lucky enough to win one in the Showcase Showdown on “The Price Is Right” (with California emmissions).

Whatever the method of obtaining your new model, you proudly bring it home. You show him off to your neighbors and co-workers; wash and wax him in the driveway where everyone can see. You might even see some relief on your taxes. In three or four years, you’ll have him all paid off and be ready to trade him in on something else. Perhaps one of the German models with the new jaw line.

The possibilities are endless. You and your guy can trade new body for new body for new body year after year as you two grow old together in marital (uh..I mean united) bliss. Just your, your man, and you dog (who you wouldn’t give up for a million years.)

This entry was posted on Monday, December 27th, 2004 at 2:37 am and is filed under observations, rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.